Saturday, April 29, 2006

Conan's New Utah Quarter

Every once in a while Conan O'Brien does a segment on his show mocking the new commemorative quarters. Last night he revealed this one from Utah:

If you can't read it, it says, "Home of Mormonism, the only religion considered 'too weird' by Tom Cruise."

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Why Iraq?

Seriously, I don't think anyone has an answer (at least a plausible, good one) for this question.

Neither does Scott Adams, of Dilbert fame. However, his ideas are interested to read, at the very least.

The Oil Theory of Iraq
Why Iraq

I would have something possibly interesting to share today, but I don't want to share it and then have it not happen, so if it does happen you'll be the first to know. Stay tuned.

Something tragically interesting did happen a couple nights ago in Butte, however. Some poor guy got murdered at the Butte Bus Station, and F and I happened to drive past the cordoned-off crime scene an hour later.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Please, Call the Men in the White Coats

My jeep broke again. It's leaking coolant. Again. Turns out the part I replaced last time (a y-shaped metal piece that connected coolant hoses and had a temperature sensor on it) decided to unweld a joint. Pour coolant in, and you might as well just pour it on the ground.

Great. This is exactly what I needed to have happen. Like I didn't already have enough to think about. All I wanted was to get lunch! (The real icing on the cake, however, was when the hair clip my mother brought for me from Taiwan decided to break today as well. Fuck.)

As soon as I'm able, I'm going to sell that P.O.S. and get something more reliable.

I just wanted to get lunch and do some homework. Now I get to worry about this too.

All I wanted to do was get lunch for myself and my boyfriend, and because of this I'm not even hungry anymore.

Sometimes I think it would be better if the guys in the white coats took me away. Tech is going to unleash a crazy woman on the general population in a couple weeks.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Suicide Shouldn't Be Ignored

And discussion of such shouldn't be taboo. I don't know how long this article is going to be accessible, but here it is.

Deadly taboo: Youth suicide an epidemic that many in Utah prefer to ignore

Quotes:

Through dozens of interviews with young people, parents, doctors, counselors and state officials increasingly concerned about the problem, reporters concluded several important points about teen suicide in Utah:
  • Insurance companies and lawmakers are failing our young people in the context of this problem. Although treatment and medication for mental health concerns associated with suicide have improved, experts say insurance company restrictions have a stranglehold on preventive measures.
  • Ninety percent of young people who complete suicide have some form of major psychiatric disorder, although the majority are not taking medication at the time they take their lives.
  • Utah does not have a suicide prevention advocacy network or a crisis center, which would be a critical clearinghouse for worried adults and teenagers.
  • Local treatment beds for young people who are suicidal have decreased. And there is little, if any, public funding for young people up until the point of absolute crisis.
The Utah Youth Suicide Study, the state's most careful analysis of this issue, provides the best profile of those young people who "complete" suicide.
  • 89 percent were male.
  • 58 percent used firearms.
  • 93 percent were Caucasian.
  • 74 percent killed themselves at home.
  • 63 percent had contact with the criminal justice system, and half of those had referrals for substance use, abuse or possession.
  • Only 3 percent were using psychotropic medications when they died.
  • Only 2 percent were active in public mental health treatment.
The study made clear the role society's attitude plays in this problem and concluded those who died faced the following barriers for adequate mental health care:

  • The belief that nothing could help.
  • The belief that seeking help is a sign of weakness or failure.
  • The reluctance to admit to having mental health problems.
  • The denial of problems.
  • The embarrassment about seeking help.

The study concluded, "It is suggested that the stigma of mental illness is a considerable barrier to mental health treatment."

"We have got to do away with this stigma," says Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff, whose daughter has struggled with suicidal thoughts. "We need to recognize it as a problem and address it."

"We have this 'All is well in Zion' kind of thing going here," Shurtleff said.

"We'd rather not talk about it at all or maybe to go talk to the bishop about it," he said. "If there really is a mental health issue you need help. It doesn't work to talk to the youth leaders or ecclesiastic leaders."

Friday, April 21, 2006

As If I Didn't Have Enough Books Already

My "Literature of the Fantastic" professor wrote a book in 2002 entitled, "Beauty Raises the Dead: Literature and Loss in the Fin de Siècle". Turns out a lot of what's in the book was covered in my "Literature of the Decadence" course I took from him last semester.

Anyway, I thought it would be a nice memento to track down a copy of the book. After all, F had Mark Bowden sign a copy of "Black Hawk Down" after taking one of Bowden's courses at Loyola.

My quest to find a copy of the tome was momentarily sidetracked for the simple fact that it's out of print. It's so out of print that I have yet to locate a copy in the United States. (My professor is obviously not making millions off the royalties)

To my great shock and delighted surprise, I found a copy in Germany (Of all places! Most Decadent literature is French).

For those searching for their own copies of out-of-print tomes, I recommend the following websites:

AddAll - this is where I found my copy of "Beauty Raises the Dead"
AbeBooks - the #1 result from a Google search of "used books"

And for those who share my insatiable bizarre curiosity, Heritage Book Shop & Heritage Bindery not only have an inventory of rare/used books for sale, but restore books as well. So when you need a dozen copies of a "certain yellow book" (reference from "The Picture of Dorian Gray"; if you know anything about Decadent literature you know the tome I refer to) in various bindings and covers, you know who to call.

Hopefully it will make its trans-Atlantic journey without too much hassle.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Movie Reviews

Both of the movies that I'm about to review are book adaptations. Both are historical fiction. That's pretty much where the similarities end.

Memoirs of a Geisha, based on the book by Arthur Golden, I have some serious mixed feelings about. I really wanted to like this movie. However, this is a movie that I won't buy, and I won't be buying the soundtrack anytime soon. I prefer Tan Dun as a composer when it comes to Eastern-themed movies.
No, it wasn't because of the Chinese actresses hired to play Japanese women. That caused more of a problem for my boyfriend than myself. I love to watch Gong Li act.
Before picking on the movie, I will say that the cinematography was wonderful (although not the best I've seen), and John Williams did a nice job on the score (for an American movie). And the movie was close to the book (for all its faults).
The feeling I received from Memoirs was that of being decidedly unauthentic. Not even getting into the authenticness of geisha traditional dress/dance/etc., which is discussed in great detail elsewhere on the internet, I felt that the movie was not very respectful to Japan in general and geisha in particular. If John Wayne (in The Barbarian and the Geisha) and James Bond (in You Only Live Twice - the book however is more accurate in regards to geisha) can get the idea of Geisha and Japan right and be respectful about it for their times, why can't Rob Marshall and Arthur Golden in the 21st century get it right? The movie (and book) seemed very sloppy to me in that regard.
The most "Japanese" character to me was The Chairman, played by Ken Watanabe - ironic considering the movie is centered around a Japanese woman. The character of Nobu (played by Koji Yakusho) was also very "Japanese".
To be more blunt, I felt that the movie (and the book, to a greater degree) emphasized and perpetuated stereotypes of Japanese (and by extension, Asian) women and Geisha culture, rather than be the enlightening, eye- and mind-opening experience it was supposed to be.
All of my disappointment regarding culture aside, I felt that the characters were relatively flat (although Gong Li did bring a depth to Hatsumomo that was not apparent to me in the book), and that Chiyo/Sayuri's character is much too naive to be admired as a heroine. Both of these problems are not criticisms of the actors, but rather of the source material.
The last large problem I had with the movie is that it ignores the basic writing (and I suspect, movie) mantra: "show, don't tell". I get the feeling that Golden doesn't trust his audience, and assumes his audience is truly ignorant. Much of the story is told to the audience, rather than shown through great acting. (The extreme opposite of what I'm describing can be seen in the movie Soldier, where Kurt Russell shows you exactly what he's feeling, what his motives are, and who he's aligned with without saying more than 20 lines during the entire movie) Don't get me wrong, the acting is great, but the actors can only do so much with a screenplay that doesn't trust their abilities.
In short, if you want to see a pretty movie that perpetuates Western ideas of Eastern women, by all means go see the movie. To quote Roger Ebert in his review of the movie (which I feel is more articulate than my own brief review, although making the same conclusions), "I realize that my doubts and footnotes are completely irrelevant to the primary audience for this movie, which wants to see beauty, sex, tradition and exoticism all choreographed into a dance of strategy and desire."

The second movie I'm going to review here I enjoyed much more. I tried, unsuccessfully, to read "Pride & Prejudice" in high school, getting lost in Austen's language. The 2005 movie of the same name similarly lost me in the quick-paced, British-accented dialogue, but the acting more than made up for it. I found it relatively easy to keep up with the complex plotline, but please don't ask me to summarize it!
The costume design was wonderful for a period piece (frames 2 and 17, as well as an explanation on this Slate slideshow), and I absolutely loved Knightly's hair when she visits her sick sister Jane in Netherfield and the wonderful updo she has at the Netherfield ball.
I was also very impressed with the at-times complex cinematography, especially at the Netherfield ball, where long takes involving lots of characters and several rooms really put the audience at the ball. The insanely romantic shot of Mr. Darcy walking towards Elizabeth in the morning mist at the end of the movie was wonderful as well.
It's quite obvious that Mr. Darcy is attracted to Elizabeth Bennett from the start of the movie, and he definitely seems to have a "realness" and complexity to the character that book critics say he lacks. This complexity can only be attributed to Matthew Macfadyan's abilities as an actor. I disagree with some movie critics who say that Knightly trumps the beauty of Rosamund Pike (who plays Jane, the beauty of the Bennett sisters), as Pike has a decidedly classic "British" beauty about her.
The recurring theme, performed by pianist Jean-Yves Thibaudet throughout the film, was both unobtrusive and memorable (similar to the Schindler's List theme when played by Itzhak Perlman in that film)
Since I have little knowledge of the book, the only true fault I can find with the movie is the difficulty of the dialogue. While the story is truly romantic fluff (if romantic fluff can be intelligent), the movie is appropriately light-hearted and good-natured. It's sweet, but not overly so.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Graduation Neurosis & Diamonds in Chocolate

I've been getting quite paranoid about the whole "after college" leap to reality. I've found an apartment (quite easily and by accident - so I'll attribute that to God's work) that's about $100 less than what I'm spending now for a roof and someplace warm to sleep at night. I haven't found a job yet; I'm praying that this real-time trader position I've heard about will go through. I know I don't have all the stuff they want but I do have a lot of what they're looking for.

I've calculated that I could barely, barely make it in Butte if I found a full-time position making $7.50 an hour (before taxes). If I got this part-time, real-time trader job I'd be making around $60,000 a year. That's $5,000 a month. I could easily live off that in Butte, plus save around $2,000 a month (or invest!) and buy a new car, as well as make a nice dent in my college loans, hopefully paying them off early. Let's not forget that I'll have oodles of time off, which means I can keep my apartment nice, make quilts for friends (I'm weird that way), and get back into running.

I'm worth $60,000 a year, right? Right? I've been so disappointed with Career Services (who are supposed to be helping me find a job - hell, I'm indirectly paying them to find me a job if you want to get down to it), and I have no job experience (not that I want to be a software engineer, but everyone seems to want experience). But I got this degree, damnit! That has to be worth something to someone, somewhere.

I don't like owing people (loans, the one credit card I was foolish enough to get) money. But more than that, I don't like not knowing how I'm going to make rent, or feed myself in June.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

On This Day. . .

In 1917, the United States declared war on Germany.

In 1930, Twinkies were invented.

In 1965, Early Bird, the first communications satellite to be put into synchronous orbit was launched.

If you're attending St. Thomas University in Fredericton, NB, Canada, you're likely observing "April 6th Day" by missing class in favor of having good ol' college fun. (Probably involving drinking, sex, drugs, or some combination thereof)

Also, I was born on this day in 1983, but I'm not counting! :P And since I turn 23 today, I get kicked off my parents' health insurance! I guess that means I can't have any serious medical emergencies (no chopping off fingers, for instance) until I can get some health insurance of my own.

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream


Wednesday, April 05, 2006

The Thing About Chocolate

Tonight I watched "Chocolat" (which I have on DVD), one of my favorite movies. It's actually a great movie to watch during Lent.

I don't remember the last time I watched the movie before that, but it must have been during my pre-Catholic days.

You definitely don't have to be Catholic to enjoy the film, but I think being Catholic (or understanding some aspects of Catholicism) deepens the appreciation of it.

For example, the movie-makers did pay attention to Pere Henri's liturgical garb for the several brief scenes that take place during Mass. (Purple, for penitence during Lent, and White/Gold, for joy/celebration on Easter) I also feel that Pere Henri epitomizes several aspects of a good priest, always kind and tactful. His Easter homily is a very good guideline for Christian living.

If you don't count all of the churchy talk (since "Chocolat" was one of my favorite movies even before converting), there are lots of other little gems in the film.

In the spinning dish, I see a little red cottage on a hill with trees next to it. I have no idea what chocolate that would correspond to, since I love the taste of dark chocolate, as well as truffles and random other yummy bonbons.

Vianne's red heels inspire me to get a pair of my own (although that hasn't happened yet).

I think "Chocolat" is a great promoter of feminism, in a subtle way. To be more specific, I think Vianne's version of feminism is quite possibly the most healthy. This is completely ideological; I definitely don't think all single women should go off roaming the world making chocolate and healing the world's woes. (But there is a certain charm in the idea, no?)

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

It's the Simple Things in Life

I was wandering in the Student Union Building yesterday (avoiding lab, but that's neither here nor there), and there was a huge box of free sample packages of stuff that marketers were pushing onto students. While I would love a trip to Barcelona or a 30-day trip through Western Europe (neither of which I can afford at this point), and while I definitely don't need another credit card, there was a gem in the package.

Enclosed in the plastic-wrapped advertisements was a trial-sized can of Skintimate Raspberry Rain shave gel. If you are a woman, you know how expensive this tiny necessity happens to be. Why they can't have generic brand 99-cent shaving cream for women is beyond me.

Anyway, I took three packages, promptly threw away everything except the shave gel (I did keep one flyer on the trip to Barcelona) and snuck home.

And as for last night's zombie-eyed rant. . . .I don't feel much better. There isn't enough caffeine in the world for that. I have discovered that I can set my alarm for 7:20 AM and still make it to my 8:00 AM class on time. Lately I've been pushing the envelope on how late I can get up for that particular class. I wonder if I could push it to 7:30 AM.

5 More Weeks

I have five more weeks of college left. And, to tell you the truth, if I somehow fuck the whole thing up and don't graduate, I really could care less. I just don't ever want to go back.

I'm so depressed; I'm drowning in schoolwork and I can't manage to get a single damn thing done. Except for when I went for a run with a friend today. . .that's productive, right?

I have two tests this week; one test on my birthday (for interpersonal communications - that woman gets virulently more anti-everything with each passing day) and one test on Friday in programming languages.

After this semester, I would have successfully accumulated six years of college education (if you include concurrent enrollment courses in high school and Advanced Placement stuff). That's enough, don't you think?

I can't sleep, I'm rarely hungry (yet always starving), and I don't want to do anything. I've reached an all new low.

Yup. Feels like depression (with a big "D") to me.

I pray to God that I get through this semester, that I can get a job worthy of a college graduate. At the same time, not getting a job lets me stick it to Tech by fucking up their job placement numbers. Career Services my ass. You know I tried to talk to those idiots about jobs in Intelligence and I got the whole glazed-donut look and a big, fat "I don't know?"? Granted, I don't think Tech churns out many people who work in the Intel industry but you'd think a title like "Career Services" would mean that they'd at least be willing to help me out. Bastards.

I had an old professor remark to me today that I probably think the semester "is hard because I don't like programming and have to do it"(his words). Well fuck that. If I had switched majors, I'd be looking at three more years (at least) of school right now. At least I stuck with something. That's better than wallowing in academia for years and years and years, isn't it? Didn't I try to do something great with a degree I didn't want? (Even though that idea didn't pan out?) Isn't getting a fucking college degree worth something? Isn't not getting further in debt worth something too?

Fuck. I'm going to go stare at my bedroom ceiling some more because it's obvious I'm not going to be able to sleep any time soon.