Wasteful Weddings

A friend I went to high school with got married on Monday.

So, congrats to him and his lucky lady.

I received an invitation; they had a nice invitation with a photo of the happy couple. I didn't go because the wedding was in Utah and I didn't want to take the time off to go. Maybe I'm not a good friend, but we weren't really close to begin with anyway.

Weddings cost a lot of money, and all for one night's events. Is it really worth it?

I don't think so.

I mean, wedding consultants have made weddings in the States a very profitable business.

Women grow up thinking that they have some sort of fundamental right to the lavish white ballgown, the flowers, the cake, the guy-in-a-penguin-suit, etc. I feel bad for the fellows whose sweethearts turn into bridezillas. The wedding, which is supposed to be a celebration of marriage and of two people promising to stay together for life, has become some sort of bizzare circus covered in ribbon and marzipan. And the groom, who is one-half of the marriage made that day, is shoved off in the corner somewhere.

It just feels like such a farce.

What about the money wasted on one day of obvious conspicuous consumption? How come that money can't go to fund a nice (nicer?) honeymoon or a down payment on a house/condo (or paying off those all-important student loans!)?

There was a link in my Gmail today for Hello!Lucky Custom Wedding Invitations. These snazzy, simple-looking invitations have been featured in Martha Stewart Weddings. 12 red flashing lights with matching sirens should have gone off in my head.

As an experiment, I picked one of the invitations in the collection and put in some numbers. 100 "Passion Flower" flat invitations in plain envelopes printed in two ink colors cost $835. This doesn't include matching printed envelopes, RSVP cards, thank yous, etc. Just the invites to your gala event.

Who the hell can afford $8.35 for an invitation? Makes me wonder how much they're spending on the wedding & reception sites, flowers, photographer, etc.

This is the price of feeling entitled to be a princess for a day, ladies.

Maybe I'm cheap, maybe I'm broke, maybe I don't feel as entitled as other women, or maybe I like to push the envelope on what's expected of young women in the United States. Maybe I've given up on the stupid social mores of our time.

If I ever get married, I don't want to be a princess for a day. I want to get the damn marriage license signed and have a nice dinner with my sweetheart and closest family and friends. I don't mind shelling out money for a nice dinner with people I know and love.

One of My Favorite Monologues

Shylock's "Do we not bleed?" monologue, from Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice (Act III, Scene I):

He hath disgraced me, and hindered me half a million; laughed at my losses,
mocked at my gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my
bargains, cooled my friends, heated mine
enemies; and what's his reason? I am a Jew.

Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs,
dimensions, senses, affections, passions?

Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject
to the same diseases, healed by the same means,
warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is?

If you prick us, do we not bleed?
if you tickle us, do we not laugh?
If you poison us, do we not die?

And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?
If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that.
If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility?
Revenge. If a Christian wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be by
Christian example? Why, revenge. The villany you
teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I
will better the instruction.

Girly Health Stuff

I've been going to an acupuncturist since late May for a girly problem I have. Basically, it means my cycles are all screwed up because my hormone levels are all screwed up. The OBGYN I go to wanted to prescribe Metformin and/or BCPs (birth control pills), neither of which I'm ready to try until I know the acupuncture isn't working for me. I really don't want to go on BCPs, mainly because I've tried them before and I don't think they work for me.

I've had some success with acupuncture. It's relaxing and not at all scary. Sometimes the needles hurt when they go in, but mostly all I feel are the pinpricks and then nothing. Sometimes I fall asleep.

I think it's important for women to know about PCOS, because it really wrecks havoc in people's lives. There's a small chance I won't be able to have children. Because of the hormone and metabolic imbalances PCOS can cause, women may gain horrible amounts of weight and have a hell of a hard time working it off. I've lived with acne since puberty because of it. I'm at higher risk for cardiovascular disease, diabetes (especially because I have a family history), and endometrial cancer.

I think the acupuncture is working because I think my cycles are becoming more normal. I get PMS (which I never used to get) in a bad way (I think the Eastern theory is that my body is finally processing all of these emotions that have built-up over time) - I get extremely tired, sad and moody. I think I'm unpleasant to be around, and I feel guilty and more sad because I genuinely don't like being bitchy to people I care about.

Sometimes I think I'm selfish because I want clear skin and a more feminine body shape (PCOS can cause women to have an "apple" body shape associated with central obesity). I think I'm selfish because I feel I deserve to have regular cycles.

Then I remember that, compared to others my age, I have a pretty good life. Even compared to others with PCOS, I don't have to shave my face or deal with being morbidly obese.

But I'm still sad about the whole thing.

Restaurant Review - Killer Shrimp!

My sweetheart took me to Killer Shrimp in Marina Del Ray Friday night.

There is only one item on the menu here, and it's the shrimp. (OK, if you want to split hairs, there are actually three items on the menu: shrimp with either bread, pasta, or rice. The recommendation is get the bread.)

So you sit down, and they give you some napkins and one of those "moist towelettes" that never seem to be large or moist enough. Then they bring you a huge bowl of simmering cajun-flavored broth and a bowl of sliced French bread. In the broth lies succulent shrimp in the shell.

The process is thus: soak up the broth with the bread and consume the bread. When you spy an elusive shrimp tail, retrieve it from the buttery broth and shell it (there's a plate for the refuse). Then devour the shrimp and repeat.

We didn't try any of the desserts (there are two: sweet potato pecan pie and chocolate cake) as I was gifted fudge before dinner.

I can't comment on the decor because we were seated outside. It was a nice night. :)

Killer Shrimp
523 Washington Blvd (it's upstairs)
Marina Del Rey, CA
90292-5420
(310) 578-2293

How We've Come To Love the Airbrush

Photoshop of Horrors

All women want to be beautiful. I think a majority of those women also want to (if they haven't already) accept themselves and accept the way they look.

I think women are primed to want to be in that top tier of beauty. It's a natural desire.

When we skew the beauty scale even the most gorgeous don't want to accept the way they look. That is truly sad.

You can go to Communist China and take a very average looking girl, maybe a 3 or 4 on the scale (with 10 being most lovely), and a year or 18 months later she's a 9 or 10. What's more sad is women actually want to go under the knife because in China, if you're female, the more attractive and tall you are, the easier it is to get the jobs you want.

Is it the same for us on the other side of the pond? Probably.

I don't think I'll ever go under the knife. I don't think I'd ever like to get my boobs lifted or my tummy tucked. I don't think I'd want to get my face lifted, either. If I'm not happy with who I am now, why would I ever be happy if I looked different? The person underneath is still the same.

Harry Potter Spoilers

The Twisted Economics of Harry Potter

Please don't take my comments the wrong way; I think Ms. Rowling has created an fascinating world and a great story. My main complaint with her is that she's unnecessarily verbose.

I predict that soon after the last Harry Potter movie is released that poor Harry and company will be dropped for the next new and enchanting book or film. Look at the Lord of the Rings trilogy: soon after the Return of the King Extended Edition was released to DVD people (meaning the general public) stopped talking about it.

But there are those that think, "Gee, this Harry Potter mania is going to last forever."

No, it's not. Nothing is permanent in this world but change. I highly doubt that Harry Potter will become a classic (we'll see in 50 years) as much as a novelty. As far as children's literature is concerned, there are better tomes out there.

Let the flaming begin.

The Importance of Ideology in Religion

Ideology Matters
This Houston Chronicle article is fantastic. To summarize, what are the most toxic ideas in religion?

-Violence in the name of God
"If you disagree with me, I will kill you" is hardly an attitude that promotes respect or intelligent debate.
-Follow Our Rules or Else
This can be thought of as the promise of, "as long as you're a member, follow our rules, and contribute financially you can have a direct experience of God." This is personality stunting and leads to all sorts of repression.
-My Religion is Right
No one religion has a corner on "rightness". What works for me may or may not work for you. You can be both loyal to your own religion and also accepting of other religions.
-Converting Others to Your Religion
The idea that missionary work is embedded in power is correct. It's also a loaded message because it means, "we think we're correct and by extension of the idea we think your ideas are wrong and that you should change".
-A Tribal View of God
This can be best described as "our God is the only true God and our religion is the only true religion." This hardly promotes open-mindedness.

One of the reasons I'm not a "good Catholic" anymore is because I really hated the attitude of "we have THE corner on religion" and the wide-spread belief of "Buddhism isn't a religion, it's just a way of life". It's not really something I think was meant to be taught but ideas that are widespread today. Many of these ideas are why LDS/Mormonism didn't work for me either. Besides, who really wants to wear funny underwear or exclude loved ones from a 'wedding'? I also really like coffee, tea, and wine. All the simple pleasures of life. I don't drink to excess, by the way.

I know some things I write on here could be considered critical of the LDS Church. To clarify, I'm critical of all religions that think it's OK to restrict personal freedoms, that think it's OK to say that one group of people are more special than another group merely because of race, sex, sexual preference, or personal aspirations. I'm critical of religions that strongly insist on enforcing gender roles, because I think choosing a lifestyle/occupation is vastly different than only having one lifestyle/occupation to choose from. The LDS Church is one religion I'm familiar with that has these problems, so I comment on them.

I don't think mormons are necessarily bad people, but I think their religion is a bad influence on society in general. I also think that well-intentioned mormons do stupid things because of their religion. It doesn't mean that I don't respect their choice of religion, or think that they are bad people.

Pathological Bento

Salon Mothers Who Think - The bento chronicles

This is a good account of why the cuteness of bento is not only for aesthetics, but a necessity.

I'm so glad I'm not a mom in Japan. Talk about hard-core parenting.

Seattle Trip Summary

I went to Seattle for the 4th, and stayed through until Sunday. It was a great trip!

The 4th - I went to the Gasworks' Fireworks show, officially called the WaMu Family 4th at Lake Union. It was FANTASTIC. I think the website has a link to the televised broadcast of this year's show.
The 5th - I went to Pike's Place Market, The Space Needle, and the Science Fiction Museum. I ended up going to the Space Needle by myself, which I don't recommend. It's almost a waste of 20 bucks. The evening of the 5th was Open Access Night (sponsered by Boeing) and admission to the Science Fiction Museum and the Experience Music Project is free. Pike's Place Market has some truly fabulous peaches right now.
The 6th - We drove up to Everett to see the Future of Flight Aviation Center & Boeing Tour. Boeing and Microsoft are huge presences in Western Washington.
The 7th - Woodland Park Zoo. There's a rose garden not far from the South Entrance to the zoo, which I recommend checking out. We didn't find many fragrant varieties, but it was definitely worth seeing so many blooms in one place. The zoo was fabulous and the entry fee completely worth it for the butterfly exhibit alone. The siamangs they have there are also impressive.

On Air Travel and Security

It pays to be a well-informed traveler these days, especially when you're travelling by air.

Standing in line at the airport is one of everyone's least favorite parts of the trip. Take your shoes, your jacket, and your belt off. Empty your pockets. Go through the metal detector. Put all your stuff back where it originally was. If you're special they also go through your luggage. Nice.

3-1-1 Rules
Permitted and Prohibited Items

Basically, save all those mini-toothpaste tubes from the dentist, and forget bringing that huge bottle of contact lens cleaner with you. I'm fairly certain that it's best not to bring anything at all with you, but that's a little impractical. Theoretically, you could bring that big liter-size shampoo bottle with you, but I can imagine getting harassed for it.

I'm really fond of Bruce Schneier's work, and I admire his opinions on security issues. He publishes Crypto-Gram Newsletter every month, which I receive via e-mail. He finds a lot of interesting news articles and comments on why things are as innane as they are. He also writes a lot of essays and op-eds for a variety of magazines, e-zines, newspapers, etc. Here are some of my favorite articles he's written concerning airport security:
Why Everyone Must Be Screened
Let Computers Screen Air Baggage
Airplane Security and Metal Knives
Homeland Insecurity

And just for you, religious guerilla rebels, from his blog:
Why Terrorism Doesn't Work

Americans seem to be really focused on "fixing-the-symptom" rather than "fixing-the-cause" when it comes to the war on terror, and pretty much everything else in general. This makes me really sad. How do you turn a nation from being short-sighted and hedonistic to long-sighted and abstemious? Any ideas?

While I enjoy reading Schneier, I don't own any of his books. Not even Applied Cryptography (which now comes in a Schneier's Cryptography Library mega edition). I weep at the gaping crater in my overflowing library.

On New Computer Interfaces

I stumbled across this while reading a thread on Slashdot regarding the "soap" mouse (basically, an optical mouse contained within a "sleeve" of jersey-weight fabric, so it would slip like a bar of soap and you can use it to manipulate the pointer on a screen).

Anyway, I do believe that there are some great innovations in human-computer interaction these days. I find that one of the more fascinating "higher level" things that are going on in computer science. Are some of these new innovations impractical? Of course. Not every new invention or way of doing something is going to adopted in the next generation of applications/hardware. Not every piece of hardware is refined enough at first draft to have a "cool, sleek" look.

Do you remember when DVD players first came out? I certainly do. I remember saving a crapload of money to buy this $300 machine that was larger than my parents' VHS player. Now you have these tiny, refined, DVD players that include a small screen. You can fit probably 8 of these in the space that original clunky DVD player took up.

I think the Wii has one of the most innovative, original HCI controls, despite its flaws. Whatever device the Wii controller spawns (or 3rd or 4th generation device) may or may not be an improvement over the current controller. There are many roads to Rome.

I see a lot of potential for the soap mouse, and not just for gaming. Imagine an extension of the little clicky thing some professors use on their powerpoint presentations. Now imagine they can access the entire desktop in their lecture.