The Huntington

My ex-boyfriend took a girl to the Huntington Library the other day for their first date. Apparently they had a good time.

I begged him for months to take me and he never did.

I wonder what I did wrong.

Now I can't go alone because seeing some place like that alone is a shitty experience (I tried that with the aquarium), and I've never been good at getting anyone to take me anywhere, even when I ask nicely and tell them it would be something that would make me happy. None of my friends like doing any of the things I like doing either. Maybe I need new friends. I need to find better fellows.

So I'm royally screwed in this situation. I won't be able to go to the Huntington until the mental association with him passes.

How come I'm the one who's always left hurting? What awful thing did I do in a previous life to enjoy getting treated poorly by every fellow I've ever had the poor luck to know?

Movie Review - Lust, Caution

I went to this amazing movie tonight. Alone.

It was an incredible cinematic experience. Ang Lee has outdone himself. My only disappointment is that I feel most American audiences would not "get" the film. What available character development is subtle, and I don't think the average American does well with subtle. Perhaps it would be better to read the short story the film is based on first, although I think I would have enjoyed the movie, either way.

The movie definitely deserves its NC-17 rating, but I also feel that the movie is not a pornographic drama, even though the sex scenes are incredibly explicit. The focus of the story is on the female protagonist, Wang Chia Chi/Mai Tai Tai (Tang Wei) and her involvement in a resistance plot to assassinate Mr. Yee (Tony Leung), the head of Wang Ching-wei's intelligence service (the film is set in 1942 Shanghai).

I knew that, even if I did not like the film, it would at least be beautiful to watch. I was not disappointed. Ang Lee has said that he feels the movie could be best categorized as a film noir, but I think that is true in tone and subject matter alone. The photography has too much light in it to truly be a noir. Regardless, attention to every detail (including reflections in windows, lipstick on handkerchiefs and coffee cups) is incredible, and every shot is beautiful.

The big complaint from critics seems to be the lack of character development and pace. To this, I only have to point at the source material - it's very difficult to do extensive character development in a 60-page novella, especially in a fairly simple story with one or two major themes. To translate the story to the screen, Lee had to make additions to flesh out the plot and show interactions that take up less than a page in the book.

I really shouldn't say "additions", what he did was make faithful elaborations to something that was already there.

Also, the story is very internal - I think it's very difficult to convey thoughts when you don't have words to help you. A Western director (I feel) would have turned all of that into dialogue.

I feel like I don't understand much more Chinese in movies than when I started taking Chinese classes, and that's disappointing to me. However, I know enough that I can smile when something I do understand is translated slightly differently in the subtitles than how I would have done it. Or when I pick up a grammar structure that I've learned. This was actually very distracting to me - it would be nice to watch the movie again just to enjoy the acting, the music, the costumes (I really want to make that blue qipao Tang Wei tries on in the tailor's shop in Hong Kong), and the breathtaking cinematography.

I know that most theaters will not carry Lust, Caution, because of the NC-17 rating. Even with the many movie theaters I have access to (at least seven locally), there are only two that were showing the film tonight. It's also an artsy film, which tend to not get distributed as widely.

Armenian Genocide Bill Update

Armenia suprised at storm over genocide vote
U.S. and Turkey Thwart Armenian Genocide Bill

Depressing Young People

College Costs Rising Rapidly

I'm always more than a little sad, and slightly alarmed, when I read about rising tuition costs.

Even though I'm not a student by profession anymore (does anyone ever really stop learning?), I really think education is one of the keys to getting ahead in today's world. Even though there are many successful people who do not have college educations, I feel those are the exceptions rather than the rule.

I paid for most of my college with student loans. Loans I'll be paying back for quite a while.

I think it's a sorry, miserable state we must live in when the only way to get ahead in the world is to entrap yourself into so much debt that it threatens your future economic prospects.

There are so many people I went to school with that I just know would go to college if they felt it was a little cheaper. These are young people who, with a little encouragement, could improve their lives, their earning power, and their psyches tremendously with a few classes. They could expand their world, and their horizons. They could dream big.

I have friends who disagree. They think that some people are supposed to be on the lower rungs of society. Even so, wouldn't it be great if you could go to Best Buy and the guy selling you the new digital camera actually KNEW something about electronics, and how they worked? Wouldn't it be great if the gal who sold you the double-bacon cheeseburger and fries knew something about service industries and the culinary arts?

I am, at the core of my soul, an idealist.

Lucky Number

I finally put my license plates on my new car today. I was thrilled when I found out my license plate number started with my so-called "lucky number", six.

I'm not sure why I've thought it was my lucky number - I think it started when my mom's cousin's son (first cousin once removed?) was into astrology/numerology and he told me that 6 was auspicious for me.

That was years ago - at least ten years ago. Ever since then six has been my lucky number.

It seems to work out OK.

Quiet Weekend

I'm having a quiet weekend this week.

I came directly home from work last night, and promptly fell asleep. Minus a "break" to take a shower, I woke up around 10:30 this morning.

I did a little shopping, then went to my acupuncture appointment.

I painted my toes, and now I think I'm going to do some laundry, followed by a riveting workout at the gym tonight. Hopefully the gym will be nice and quiet.

Tomorrow I'm going to try and clean my apartment a little bit, then go play Dungeons & Dragons with some friends.

I'm definitely not going to try and think about the mess that is my social life.

I Don't Understand

I've been reading a lot about this Armenian Genocide business in the news. This whole issue really confounds me, for several reasons.

First, why is this such a big deal with Turkey? It is what it is, and what happened in Turkey in the past does not necessarily reflect on Turkey in the present. We don't condemn Germany and Japan for what some Germans and some Japanese did in WWII anymore. (Right guys? We've moved beyond that, haven't we?) We don't condemn ourselves for what we did to Japanese Americans in WWII, do we?

Secondly, what's the horrible bad thing about us losing a base in Turkey? I mean, we *are* trying to get *out* of Iraq and Afghanistan, right?

Thirdly, acknowledging that humans do terrible things to each other sometimes isn't necessarily a bad thing, right?

If someone can help me out here, please feel free to.

Floating on Cloud Nine

This is a narcissistic post. You've been warned.

I was at the gym yesterday and noticed something when I got on the treadmill to do my run/walk.

I don't have time to go to the gym every day so I do a combined lift-and-run on Mondays and Wednesdays, and then usually do a combined workout on Saturday and a run only on Sunday. I've only been following this schedule for a couple weeks.

Anyway, I was wearing a slim-cut t-shirt yesterday at the gym - it's made out of cotton and not one of the sweat-wicking fabrics, so I took it off because it wouldn't have been comfortable to run in. So I'm running in a sports bra and shorts.

At the gym I go to there's a wall of mirrors in front of the cardio machines (in front of probably 80% of the equipment there, actually). While I was running I noticed that the muscles in my shoulders and upper arms looked really defined, and that made me feel good about myself. I noticed that about my legs, too, but to a lesser extent.

I was with a fellow recently and he mentioned he really liked my tummy, which is, in my opinion, the part of me that needs the most work. It's where my body likes to store fat (as opposed to the hips/thighs like for most women), and I think it's the body part that makes me most self-conscious. That made me feel really good, because this guy is saying, "not only I accept what you consider to be your biggest physical flaw, but I dig it!"

At any rate, it does good things for the ego.

I've been doing a lot of good things for myself, taking care of myself better. I think it's showing. I'm really leading a full life and I have this little sweet thing going on with a fellow; it's like that perfect cup of coffee and tidbit of dessert after a fantastic meal - he just really makes my day. Everything is in it's place and I'm starting to get concerned it might stagnate there. Maybe that won't be a bad thing - who knows?

Second Monitor

Today's Dilbert is really good. Watch out though, I think it will only be up for a month.

Sorry I haven't been blogging much; I've been keeping busy, and all my blogs end up being really personal and I don't want to be putting that crap out in the bloggerverse.

Knott's Scary Farm 2007!

I went to Knott's Scary Farm last night.

I had, for want of a better, more intense, more descriptive phrase, a blast. Everyone in our party of six got spooked at least twice.

Some friends from my happy hour group got together and we carpooled down to Buena Park. For dinner we went to the pre-scare dinner special buffet - Mrs. Knott's fried chicken, mashed potatoes, assorted salads, dinner rolls (with boysenberry jam!) and pie. I, of course, had to have a slice of the boysenberry pie. The fried chicken was most delicious.

Entering the park, the first maze we went to was the Beowulf-themed maze. It's very easy to startle me, so everyone wanted me on point for most of the evening. The Beowulf maze was one of my favorites of the night. The photo above was taken when I exited the maze, and was so delighted I started jumping up and down waiting for my friends. The ghoul came up to me and asked me why I was jumping up and down. "Because I'm happy!" I replied. "Happy? I'm happy and I'm not jumping up and down."

For some reason when I get spooked, my natural reaction is to scream, then laugh hysterically. Maybe that means I can laugh at myself?

We went to the hanging show at 9:30. This was pretty much a plotless 15 minute gore-filled satire of pop culture, ending with a public "hanging". They fit in so many things, from Alec Baldwin's parenting skills to David & Posh Spice to Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton. The movie 300 to American Idol. It was a brilliantly scripted performance.

I got really scared at the Lore of the Vampire maze - there was a guy sitting in a chair. I *knew* his whole purpose of being there was to scare people. And he succeeded in scaring me anyway! Oh, it was good times.

There were a couple other good mazes - the psychedelic Feary Tales in 3D was, to my imagination, what nightmares on acid would be like. The Clown College maze and the Asylum Maze were really good too, and my friends like the Red Beard's Revenge maze. We weren't as impressed with The Grudge 2 Maze, but mostly because the "scare quality" wasn't consisted throughout. It started out really creepy and then became less so by the end of the maze.

Throughout the park there are goon and ghouls wandering around for the sole purpose of catching you off-guard and scaring you. It's great fun watching one of them (or a pair!) set up a scare.

We ended up leaving around midnight - by then the park was completely packed and we opted to avoid the traffic problems of leaving later (it was raining a bit and traffic would have been horrid around 2:00 AM). We were pretty much scared out by then too. I didn't know there was an upper threshold to how much scaring you could handle in a night.

This Isn't No White Wedding!

I have no words to describe my disgust in reaction to this essay.

Talk about ****ing people up for life.

One way you could look at it is that, for some, necessary "beauty" is necessary pain. And risk of death. The other way you could look at it is some seriously screwed up people got together one day a long while ago and decided this would be something cool to do, and people since then have continued the tradition. And then a female anthropologist with a video camera comes along and supports all of that.

Someone is probably going to give me hell for this. That's OK. I think as people we should respect other cultures, but not at the expense of someone's health. Not at the expense of a person's future ability to live a life without pain.

You circumcise a male and after a while there's no pain. Everything still works. In some cases (I personally know of one) it's actually better for a guy to get circumcised. You circumcise a female and you pretty much diminish her ability to enjoy sex. It hurts her to urinate, to menstruate. You've psychologically scarred her. In some cases the girl dies. Someone explain to me how that could be "right", in any culture!

The other day at the salon the waxer told me that I should have "10,000 kids" because I wasn't writhing in pain on her table. I should have said, "girl, this ain't nothin' compared to female circumcision!"

The evil people do to each other makes me sick.

Everyone Wants My Wednesday

The stars must be in alignment today for me.

Or something.

A little over a week ago, a friend invited me over to visit her and her boyfriend (who is visiting from out-of-town) tonight. I accepted because hey, she's my best girlfriend in California, I'd like to hang out with her and her boyfriend, and I didn't have plans at the time.

On Monday a fellow asked me if he could take me to the movies tonight, and today another friend asked me what I was doing tonight.

What's up with this Wednesday?

My horoscope from the LA Times isn't being helpful:

Profit, health and happiness spring from the work you do -- as long as it has integrity. So don't worry about impressing your people, only about bringing them value.

I guess this depends on what "work" and "value" means in this context.

Not to mention this whole scheduling situation means that my evil plan to keep myself socialized must be working.

Bento Today

I finally started to bring my Mr. Bento into work again.

Took me long enough, didn't it?

Here's what I have:

Top Container - Microwave steamed broccoli
Second Container - Celery sticks filled with Skippy Natural Peanut Butter (it's truly the best I've ever had)
Rice Container - Cheese Mashed Potatoes (probably not good for the diet, but oh so delicious)
Soup Container - Salmon Filet from CostCo (they have these huge bags of frozen, individually wrapped salmon filets, halibut filets, and chicken breasts for a pretty good deal)

I also started working out last week (again) - this week I'm getting serious and am going to start weight training. With the way my schedule goes nowadays, I can only work out on Mondays, Wednesdays, and the weekend. Maybe that's enough.

Livin' La Vida Solo

I hit a roadbump this morning on my way to Single Female Liberation.

Mainly, how do you, uh, satisfy certain desires, without the aid of a 2nd party?

I don't have an answer. So sorry if you came here looking for one. If you have an answer that does not involve electricity-operated devices, please let me know.

I don't want to be in a relationship right now. Last week proved that to me. But now I want to know what I'm supposed to do with all of that. How does one remain adequately socialized without sacrificing essentials like sleep and food? What's the best work-out plan to quickly sculpt the perfect female form?

What will become more pressing is, how does a single girl move all of her "stuff" and furniture across town? I hope my dear friends who I've recently rediscovered/noticed will step up to the challenge.

I still don't know if I can have children. What does this mean when put into context of WTF I'm supposed to be doing here on Earth?

I still like the idea of getting married to someone someday. But right now, and as far as my short-term future (next five years) is concerned, I can't have someone I can't depend on drag me down.

That sounds really bad. But I've been somewhat stupid in my relationships, and until I get smarter (and until the boys get smarter), I have no business putting my time and energy that would be put towards things for me (like a higher degree or a promotion) into someone who isn't going to deliver.

I'm way off the meet market. This auction closed unsold.

Tied To Ideals

Anne Frank's Tree Wins Reprieve

It never ceases to amaze me how much we value ideas, especially those ideas pertaining to hope, freedom, and happiness. Those ideas enrich our souls and give meaning to life.

I think this is why I enjoy reading dystopian fiction so much - in forcing a society to live up to an ideal, the society ends up robbing the people belonging to it the very things most societies (and people) should value most.

I really hope they can save the tree, because it gave Anne Frank hope, and that physical representation of her hope in a dark time gives us all hope. But if it's felled, I hope they would be able to plant another tree in its' place.

I remember visiting the Anne Frank house when I was in Amsterdam a few years ago (not so few - it was June of 1999). I can't believe they were able to fit so many people in that small space. It's no wonder to me that Anne would look outside the only window she could, and gazed.

User Interface Design Flaw

On my new car I have a keyless entry similar to this one. It's actually kind of ingenious, to have the keyless entry on the key itself instead of on a key fob.

The biggest problem I have with it is that I tend to accidentally press the buttons when I'm just holding the key (or trying to start the car). My suggestion to improve it is to put the buttons on the side of the key, leaving the driver to grip the key in a "normal" way without having to worry if he/she just unlocked all their car doors. The key is big enough that you could fit buttons on the side of the key and I think it would be slightly more intuitive that the current user interface.

Hey. It's just an idea.

The Allure of the Manual Transmission

I feel safe commenting on this, because a close friend of mine and I are in consensus, and the theory must hold some water.

There's something essentially attractive about a man who can drive a stick-shift. Perhaps it's "just a stereotype". The message seems to be "I can drive a manual transmission - I can 'handle' my car", perhaps alluding to the message "I can 'handle' my woman" (not in a bad or misogynistic way!). This is the way my friend describes it. I don't think it's a very satisfactory description of this intangible feeling.

It's a very masculine, "I'm in control of my domain" vibe. It's something I find very attractive.

I don't know any female friends who can drive a stick-shift, so I'm not sure what riding with them might be like.

Of course, this quality has zero correlation with the asshole rating of the driver. Ride at your own risk.

I'm A Leaf On The Wind - Watch Me Soar

I don't know what happened the past couple of days that turned my mood around.

Okay, I have an idea, but I never knew that it would bring me into the happiest state I've ever known myself to be in. I wish I could share the gritty details but it's a little too personal to share with the world. Some secrets are best left secrets.

I feel like everything is clicking for me and my life and I'm just living Life up! It's very soul-fulfilling and I totally dig that!

A friend told me today that he has never seen me happier - even when I was with the guy I used to be so in love with.

I've started working out again, and that feels great.

I've been mega productive at work, and that feels great.

I've been scoping out some dating prospects - there's a super cute guy in my Chinese class, and there's a couple others I've picked up on my SONAR. The net has been cast, and I'm in no hurry to reel anyone in.

My social life is going to be incredible the next couple of weeks - I've got all sorts of parties and fun things planned. I'm going to a friend's party this Saturday (an excuse to dig out the Little Black Dress, high heels and hairspray), and Knott's Scary Farm next Friday. I'll probably go dancing the week after that.

I feel so high on life - it's been kicked into fifth gear and shows no signs of slowing down!

I'm a leaf on the wind - watch me soar!

Movie Review - The Kingdom

I watched The Kingdom the other night, which I enjoyed.

I watched the movie at The Bridge Cinema de lux at Howard Hughes Center. There happens to be a bar at the theater, and they play really great music to dance to. I recommend they move the tables around to make room for a dance floor instead of crowding it with tables and uncomfortable-looking chairs.

Anyway, back to the movie. It's basically a political commentary in action form. The premise is fairly ridiculous - an FBI team goes to Saudi Arabia to help the Saudis investigate a terrorist attack (against Americans) in Riyadh.

The film doesn't paint all Saudis as bad people, or all Americans as good people, which is refreshing. The movie's punchline at the end was predictible and heavy-handed; I think the same message could have been done differently with better effect.

Chris Cooper steals every scene he's in. Jennifer Garner gets the award for female-empowerment-fight-scene and the token "give a kid some candy" scene.

All in all, I enjoyed the film and recommend it. It's a non-retarded action film that's worth the admission price.