One Year Later

Just a year ago I ran my first marathon, not knowing what it was going to be like after mile 20 or how hard or painful it would be to just keep going, one step in front of the other.  There are some official race photos where it's obvious I'm walking and in pain.  Quads and feet aren't supposed to burn like that.  I remember around mile 18 my feet swelled up in my shoes and I honestly didn't know if I was going to physically be able to keep going.  By mile 20 my feet weren't bothering me anymore, but it was certainly a scare for me.  I had made the cosmic bet that I was going to finish that day, and I had gone all-in with everything I had.

 I accomplished my goal, which I admit at this point seems fuzzy and perhaps contradictory.  To be honest when I crossed that finish line I was just happy to not be pushing myself forward anymore.  I didn't feel changed, or like I had restored whatever honor or face I thought I'd lost.  It was anti-climactic and somewhat disappointing.  I remember my friends had opened a bottle of champagne with dinner that night and all I really wanted to do was lie down and hope my legs would stop hurting.  The realization I might have actually accomplished something came months later, when I was thinking about going out for a run and thinking, "Damn!  26 miles is far!"  It came when I would tell people I was training for a half or another full, and they would give me those funny looks that said "You're crazy!"

Where do you go from there?  When you've spent so much energy consumed by one goal, what happens after?  I guess in my case I go out and do it again.  I really enjoy running half marathons, and I feel I'm a strong-enough runner where I can start to strategize my approach to running half marathons pretty well.  Full marathons are another story.  I still feel I'm just surviving that distance.

I'm stronger and faster today than I was a year ago.  I'd like to think I'm healthier mentally and emotionally as well.  I probably still push myself much too hard in races and not hard enough in training, but it's something I can work on.

I'm running marathon #2 this weekend - MCM again - it's a nice course and the logistics/support are most excellent.  Plus my dad can get off my case about the colors they use on the ribbon (I'm pretty sure it's going to be scarlet and gold this year - 35 years of MCM!).  I bought a bike recently and I'm going to incorporate some triathlons into my racing season next year.

I haven't peaked yet - I'm not sure I'll run MCM next year, as it's an expensive trip for me, but I'm certainly going to keep running!