I saw this article on Slate and thought it would be interesting for discussion. (Is it just me, or are Slate and Salon hit-or-miss these days? Then again, I feel my blog is sometimes hit-or-miss, so I guess I shouldn't complain)
I was on a 2nd date once in an outdoor concert. My date seemed like a nice guy but I was bored to tears by him. I had a comrade text me several times about the date, and when I mentioned how awful it was turning out my comrade offered to call me with an "emergency" so I could leave. I didn't want to do that so I grit my teeth and waited the date out.
If I was genuinely interested in the guy I wouldn't have been texting my buddy. Then again, someone told me afterwards that if I was bored to tears then the guy deserved to have the girl be distracted/pulled away by other things. I'm not so sure I agree with that.
When I'm casually with someone I will answer phone calls and texts unless we are actively in the middle of a conversation. But if I'm just getting to know someone I like to give them my full attention.
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4 comments:
I've had women do both. Make cell calls and text. The one who was texting included me in most of them and showed and or told me what they were about. I didn't have a problem with that, but the one who made phone calls bothered me.
I'd feel very uncomfortable making a phone call in the middle of hanging out with someone, unless we both were purposefully trying to get a hold of someone.
When my boyfriend takes me flying I usually call my parents when he does his pre-flight as there isn't anything for me to do.
I think the odd text here and there when you're in the company of family and friends is okay, but there's no way that I'd be texting on a first date... or even a second one for that matter. Probably not until I felt really comfortable with that person.
I gave the guy a second date because the first was fun and I thought maybe the awkwardness was just because he was nervous. He was really nervous on the 2nd date and the conversation kind of sucked. I don't know; I feel like I picked up on some vibe that made me feel like he was insecure. And when you're nearing 40 and THAT nervous about a 2nd date, that's a huge problem no matter how nice or loaded with cash you are. I felt like I was spending time with him trying to get him relax then just both of us having a good time.
I think that's the rudest I've been on a date, though.
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