LA Times Article
I think this comes as a shock to everyone.
I'm not a fan of Michael Jackson, but I think Los Angeles has always had a love affair for the star. When I moved here three years ago, you could still listen to his 20-year-old songs on the radio next to the top-ten of the week. Even now I'll hear "Billie Jean" or "Beat It" on the radio every now and then.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
I Am Woman! Hear Me Roar!
I kill big spiders on my own. This is a major accomplishment. I am the queen of my domain.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Movie Review - Star Trek (revised)
Star Trek in IMAX with a couple drinks is so much better.
There. I said it.
There. I said it.
The Happiest Girl To Ever Be Dumped
I highly recommend not moving twice in less than six weeks. It wrecks havoc on your stress levels. I also highly recommend not having another major life stressor happen in between moves that are six weeks apart. But I've done both of those things, and the Superwoman high I've been feeling throughout the last two weeks has skyrocketed. I can conquer anything Life throws at me. Life, dish it out!
I found a place close to work that is economically priced and I think I will be happy living there. I have returned to South Bay, and I think my quality of life will improve dramatically. One of my dear friends from before I left California came over and helped me unpack some of my things on Thursday.
"I've never seen a girl so happy to be dumped," she told me after dinner.
Is that so? Maybe. I personally theorize that I've reached my limit of stressful activities for the year, and just don't care anymore. If anyone or anything wants to weigh me down, I just don't need that person or thing in my life right now.
I only have vague ideas of where certain items are, and for someone who tries to be fairly organized, this bothers me greatly. Ditto for having a truly chaotic house.
But I am free. I don't have to check with anyone on plans I make for myself, I don't have to compromise on what time would be good to go to sleep or wake up, I can eat whatever I want without having to consult with someone else. . . .
My list extends to at least the other side of the Pacific.
I've never been happier to be single. Usually I feel like I need to be in a relationship, and that idea just doesn't feel palatable to me anymore. Dates are nice, but who needs a suffocating relationship when you can be free, and easily find attention from members of the opposite sex?
I found a place close to work that is economically priced and I think I will be happy living there. I have returned to South Bay, and I think my quality of life will improve dramatically. One of my dear friends from before I left California came over and helped me unpack some of my things on Thursday.
"I've never seen a girl so happy to be dumped," she told me after dinner.
Is that so? Maybe. I personally theorize that I've reached my limit of stressful activities for the year, and just don't care anymore. If anyone or anything wants to weigh me down, I just don't need that person or thing in my life right now.
I only have vague ideas of where certain items are, and for someone who tries to be fairly organized, this bothers me greatly. Ditto for having a truly chaotic house.
But I am free. I don't have to check with anyone on plans I make for myself, I don't have to compromise on what time would be good to go to sleep or wake up, I can eat whatever I want without having to consult with someone else. . . .
My list extends to at least the other side of the Pacific.
I've never been happier to be single. Usually I feel like I need to be in a relationship, and that idea just doesn't feel palatable to me anymore. Dates are nice, but who needs a suffocating relationship when you can be free, and easily find attention from members of the opposite sex?
Movie Review - Moon
I've been craving some real, hard-core science fiction for a long time. It seems these days sci-fi skews closer to what I would consider fantasy, or is obscured by some action-packed, computer-graphics driven flick with a bad-to-really-bad plot and characters.
I had a lot of hope for Moon, the Duncan Jones-directed Sam Rockwell vehicle. The trailer makes it look a bit like 2001, with an isolated protagonist who keeps company with a supercomputer.
While there are aspects of Moon that I really enjoyed, I was also disappointed with several aspects of the film. The film doesn't confront the consequences of a major corporation being ethically corrupt, and the film doesn't give the audience much context on what might be considered acceptable in this futuristic society. What could have been a very interesting discussion of corporate ethics was left unexplored.
I felt the best parts of the film were when both the "past" Sam and the "present" Sam could be contrasted with each other, and I wished that the film explored this more. The reveal of how these multiple instances of characters come-to-be was a bit disappointing - I expected something truly fantastic like a time travel paradox or something like that.
The film does tell an interesting story and it is enjoyable overall. Sam Rockwell is compelling but not quite charismatic enough to pull off the role. By the end of the film you feel it doesn't matter if you care about all the Sam characters or not.
Kevin Spacey's voice fills in the role of Gerty, the HAL 9000 counterpart in this film. The emoticons are charming and provide comedic release.
If you are craving "real" science fiction, I would say to give this film a viewing, but don't expect to come away from the film having learned anything.
I had a lot of hope for Moon, the Duncan Jones-directed Sam Rockwell vehicle. The trailer makes it look a bit like 2001, with an isolated protagonist who keeps company with a supercomputer.
While there are aspects of Moon that I really enjoyed, I was also disappointed with several aspects of the film. The film doesn't confront the consequences of a major corporation being ethically corrupt, and the film doesn't give the audience much context on what might be considered acceptable in this futuristic society. What could have been a very interesting discussion of corporate ethics was left unexplored.
I felt the best parts of the film were when both the "past" Sam and the "present" Sam could be contrasted with each other, and I wished that the film explored this more. The reveal of how these multiple instances of characters come-to-be was a bit disappointing - I expected something truly fantastic like a time travel paradox or something like that.
The film does tell an interesting story and it is enjoyable overall. Sam Rockwell is compelling but not quite charismatic enough to pull off the role. By the end of the film you feel it doesn't matter if you care about all the Sam characters or not.
Kevin Spacey's voice fills in the role of Gerty, the HAL 9000 counterpart in this film. The emoticons are charming and provide comedic release.
If you are craving "real" science fiction, I would say to give this film a viewing, but don't expect to come away from the film having learned anything.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Lavender
When I was a child and my family lived in California, my bedroom was a bright yellow color. I don't know how old I was, but once my parents wanted to repaint my bedroom and let me pick out the color. It was a soft shade of lavender, the hue barely discernable. I remember this because the people who bought the house from my parents commented on it. They had to repaint the room because they had a son and I guess he didn't care for lavender too much.
After I learned my family was going to move to Utah, I was very excited. I had this fantasy that Utah was like the old westerns in the movies, and that people were generally nice and say things like "Howdy." Let's say this was not the last fantasy I had that disappointed me.
We lived far enough away from my elementary school that I needed to ride a bus. The bus would pick up a bunch of kids from Kanarraville, then me, then a bunch of other kids, and then finally take us all to school. That particular route served two elementary schools, and the kids from my school would get dropped off before the kids from the other school. In the afternoon it was reversed, and the kids from my school were picked up before the kids from the other school, and all the kids were dropped off in reverse order along the route. The afternoon bus driver was considered cranky by all the other kids, but I got along with him and at the end of the year he gave me a pin with a school bus on it that had flashing red LED lights. He said he gave it to me because I was the best kid on the route.
I was really excited to ride a school bus. When I lived in California my family's home was close enough I could walk to school. When you are young you read stories like "The Magic School Bus" and your imagination really runs wild. In California school buses were for field trips and other fun adventures, not for the daily trek to school and back.
My dad was nervous about dropping me off at the bus stop, because it was close to the interstate on-ramp and he didn't want some stranger to kidnap me. I know Dad tried to petition to have the stop moved but I guess our family didn't have enough influence in the area. So he would take me to the bus stop and I would wait in the car until the bus came. Then he would go to work. We would make up games to pass the time like how many ground squirrels we could spot, and listen to talk radio.
I'm not sure when exactly it started, and I'm not even sure of what was said anymore. There was a girl who wore a lavender jacket and lived in Kanarraville. She had long, stringy brown hair and was the leader of the pack of girls she hung out with. I put so much energy into erasing this part of my life that I don't remember her name anymore.
She started to tease me. Not because of anything I said or did, but because my eyes were almond-shaped. I got flak for something I could not change about myself. Not that I ever would; I think my eyes are one of my best physical attributes. I had never been teased so mercilessly for something as inane as that. I could understand not fitting in because of the clothes I wore or the food I ate, but those were things that are easily changed. Who we are, the essence that makes us, can never be altered. We can cover it up with makeup or surgery, or hide it with false personas, but it cannot be revised.
I don't remember if I stood up for myself, or if I just watched her and fumed. I know she had a lot of fun, because she would tease me every day. I hated taking the bus to school and would dread the ride if she was on the bus that day. I remember going home and crying to my dad about it. Dad suggested I sit in the seat behind the bus driver, so if she was teasing me the bus driver could see and maybe do something about it. If he ever said anything to her, I never knew.
Nobody wanted to sit in the seat behind the bus driver, because it was reserved for bad kids. Also probably because they couldn't get away with whatever kids get away with on the bus. I didn't really want to sit there because I would get even more ostracized than I was. But for the most part it was a successful strategy, unless someone had already ticked off the bus driver and the first few seats behind him were taken up by unruly children. Once he asked me to move so that he could watch someone less civil than myself. In those cases I was left to fend for myself again.
One winter day I brought gloves with me on the way to school, but after I stepped off the bus I remembered I left them in my seat. So I got back on the bus, but couldn't find them where I left them. The girl in the lavender jacket was sitting a couple seats behind, and I knew she had taken my gloves. I asked her to return them, but she smiled and said that she didn't have them. Exasperated, I turned to get back off the bus again, and after I turned she tossed the gloves into the seat where I had sat in.
I remember picking up the gloves, and in my accumulated frustration and rage ran back to her and punched her in the shoulder. The bus driver didn't like that too much but it's not like I pummelled her face in or anything. I remember he got out of his seat and said something but when I stopped he let it go. I wonder now how much he knew.
For the longest time I detested any shade of purple. Much later I learned that some shades of purple complement olive skin tones and hazel eyes.
I've been slowly learning to like lavender again.
After I learned my family was going to move to Utah, I was very excited. I had this fantasy that Utah was like the old westerns in the movies, and that people were generally nice and say things like "Howdy." Let's say this was not the last fantasy I had that disappointed me.
We lived far enough away from my elementary school that I needed to ride a bus. The bus would pick up a bunch of kids from Kanarraville, then me, then a bunch of other kids, and then finally take us all to school. That particular route served two elementary schools, and the kids from my school would get dropped off before the kids from the other school. In the afternoon it was reversed, and the kids from my school were picked up before the kids from the other school, and all the kids were dropped off in reverse order along the route. The afternoon bus driver was considered cranky by all the other kids, but I got along with him and at the end of the year he gave me a pin with a school bus on it that had flashing red LED lights. He said he gave it to me because I was the best kid on the route.
I was really excited to ride a school bus. When I lived in California my family's home was close enough I could walk to school. When you are young you read stories like "The Magic School Bus" and your imagination really runs wild. In California school buses were for field trips and other fun adventures, not for the daily trek to school and back.
My dad was nervous about dropping me off at the bus stop, because it was close to the interstate on-ramp and he didn't want some stranger to kidnap me. I know Dad tried to petition to have the stop moved but I guess our family didn't have enough influence in the area. So he would take me to the bus stop and I would wait in the car until the bus came. Then he would go to work. We would make up games to pass the time like how many ground squirrels we could spot, and listen to talk radio.
I'm not sure when exactly it started, and I'm not even sure of what was said anymore. There was a girl who wore a lavender jacket and lived in Kanarraville. She had long, stringy brown hair and was the leader of the pack of girls she hung out with. I put so much energy into erasing this part of my life that I don't remember her name anymore.
She started to tease me. Not because of anything I said or did, but because my eyes were almond-shaped. I got flak for something I could not change about myself. Not that I ever would; I think my eyes are one of my best physical attributes. I had never been teased so mercilessly for something as inane as that. I could understand not fitting in because of the clothes I wore or the food I ate, but those were things that are easily changed. Who we are, the essence that makes us, can never be altered. We can cover it up with makeup or surgery, or hide it with false personas, but it cannot be revised.
I don't remember if I stood up for myself, or if I just watched her and fumed. I know she had a lot of fun, because she would tease me every day. I hated taking the bus to school and would dread the ride if she was on the bus that day. I remember going home and crying to my dad about it. Dad suggested I sit in the seat behind the bus driver, so if she was teasing me the bus driver could see and maybe do something about it. If he ever said anything to her, I never knew.
Nobody wanted to sit in the seat behind the bus driver, because it was reserved for bad kids. Also probably because they couldn't get away with whatever kids get away with on the bus. I didn't really want to sit there because I would get even more ostracized than I was. But for the most part it was a successful strategy, unless someone had already ticked off the bus driver and the first few seats behind him were taken up by unruly children. Once he asked me to move so that he could watch someone less civil than myself. In those cases I was left to fend for myself again.
One winter day I brought gloves with me on the way to school, but after I stepped off the bus I remembered I left them in my seat. So I got back on the bus, but couldn't find them where I left them. The girl in the lavender jacket was sitting a couple seats behind, and I knew she had taken my gloves. I asked her to return them, but she smiled and said that she didn't have them. Exasperated, I turned to get back off the bus again, and after I turned she tossed the gloves into the seat where I had sat in.
I remember picking up the gloves, and in my accumulated frustration and rage ran back to her and punched her in the shoulder. The bus driver didn't like that too much but it's not like I pummelled her face in or anything. I remember he got out of his seat and said something but when I stopped he let it go. I wonder now how much he knew.
For the longest time I detested any shade of purple. Much later I learned that some shades of purple complement olive skin tones and hazel eyes.
I've been slowly learning to like lavender again.
Monday, June 08, 2009
Movie Review - Departures
The 2009 Best Foreign Film Oscar went to the Japanese film Departures, which I feel was well deserved (although I have to admit I didn't see any of the other entries).
Downsized from his orchestra cellist's job, and not talented enough to find work in a better orchestra, Daigo Kobayashi (Masahiro Motoki) (Kane Schodel, I know what you're thinking!!!) decides to move back to his hometown and find something new to do. His adorable web designer wife (played superbly by Ryoko Hirosue) tags along out of a sense of duty and honor.
Lured in by a typo in the advertisement, Daigo finds work preparing the dead for cremation and burial. It's not a prestigious job in Japanese society, although it pays well. At first disgusted (to our great amusement), then fascinated, and finally accepting of the required duties, Daigo works under the instruction of Ikuei Sasaki (Tsutomo Yamazaki).
Wow. What a great film. From the writing to the music to the cinematography to the acting, this film is a must see. I want to buy this on DVD so I can watch this film again and pick up all the tiny nuances. It's a window to Japanese society and customs in a way that could only be brought to us by the Japanese. It's underlying philosophy of savoring life is heartwarming and touching. We should all eat so well that we "hate ourselves".
Downsized from his orchestra cellist's job, and not talented enough to find work in a better orchestra, Daigo Kobayashi (Masahiro Motoki) (Kane Schodel, I know what you're thinking!!!) decides to move back to his hometown and find something new to do. His adorable web designer wife (played superbly by Ryoko Hirosue) tags along out of a sense of duty and honor.
Lured in by a typo in the advertisement, Daigo finds work preparing the dead for cremation and burial. It's not a prestigious job in Japanese society, although it pays well. At first disgusted (to our great amusement), then fascinated, and finally accepting of the required duties, Daigo works under the instruction of Ikuei Sasaki (Tsutomo Yamazaki).
Wow. What a great film. From the writing to the music to the cinematography to the acting, this film is a must see. I want to buy this on DVD so I can watch this film again and pick up all the tiny nuances. It's a window to Japanese society and customs in a way that could only be brought to us by the Japanese. It's underlying philosophy of savoring life is heartwarming and touching. We should all eat so well that we "hate ourselves".
Movie Review - Up
Pixar's charming new film Up is a must-see for this summer. While at a level most children won't be able to appreciate for a few years, the story is solid and as a whole the movie is just adorable.
The opening montage of scenes from Carl's life with Ellie were so well done. At least half of the audience was bawling within the first fifteen minutes. The rumors are true. Michael Giacchino's score is absolutely perfect. I think he is slowly making himself my new favorite living film score composer.
I love the Dug character. Bob Petersen lends his voice to the earnest, devoted golden retriever perfectly. "I hid under your porch because I LOVE YOU!"
Pixar has definitely perfected the art of animated storytelling, infusing each protagonist character with charm. Because of the film's themes it will probably be best for adults and older children (I would say 10 and up).
The opening montage of scenes from Carl's life with Ellie were so well done. At least half of the audience was bawling within the first fifteen minutes. The rumors are true. Michael Giacchino's score is absolutely perfect. I think he is slowly making himself my new favorite living film score composer.
I love the Dug character. Bob Petersen lends his voice to the earnest, devoted golden retriever perfectly. "I hid under your porch because I LOVE YOU!"
Pixar has definitely perfected the art of animated storytelling, infusing each protagonist character with charm. Because of the film's themes it will probably be best for adults and older children (I would say 10 and up).
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Movie Review - The Hangover
The Hangover chronicles one wild night in Las Vegas gone horribly wrong. Three friends take their about-to-be-married friend on one last hurrah to single manhood. The next morning, the groom is nowhere to be found, and they are surrounded by the evidence of the night before. Hilarity ensues.
While there are a couple weak spots in the plot, the story is actually well done and the film is much better than I expected it to be. The only thing I didn't quite get was the gay Asian dude. It seemed to be a joke that lasted too long.
When the movie hits the mark it really strikes a bull's eye though. Possibly not worth the price of a movie ticket, it's definitely worth watching for a few laughs.
While there are a couple weak spots in the plot, the story is actually well done and the film is much better than I expected it to be. The only thing I didn't quite get was the gay Asian dude. It seemed to be a joke that lasted too long.
When the movie hits the mark it really strikes a bull's eye though. Possibly not worth the price of a movie ticket, it's definitely worth watching for a few laughs.
Friday, June 05, 2009
So Many Films. . . .So Little Free Time
There are a lot of great arthouse films out right now that I don't think I'll be able to review them all! So to summarize - the links take you to the respective trailer on YouTube:
Seraphine - French naive painter and cleaning woman Seraphine de Senlis is discovered by William Uhde. In French.
Departures - This year's winner of Best Foreign Film at the Oscars. Japanese cellist loses orchestra job, finds gainful employment in the undertaking business only to be ostracized by his family and wife. In Japanese.
Easy Virtue - Typical British comedy of manners based of a Noel Coward play. Critics concede it's not fantastic, with good performances by Kristen Scott Thomas and Colin Firth. Mediocre performance by Jessica Biel. I'd like to see it just because it seems like it's the only fun arthouse film available right now. And I'm a sucker for those Art Deco era society films.
Moon - Sam Rockwell's version of 2001 on the moon? Kevin Spacey stars as the HAL 9000 upgrade. Looks like the best pure sci-fi film to come out of any corner of Hollywood in a very long time. I definitely am going to see this.
Downloading Nancy - Just run the hell away from this one. Woman leaves husband to find "love" and "release" in S&M relationship from the internet (ahh, *this* is why I need to stop online dating!). This is probably a late-night-in-the-hotel-and-there's-nothing-on-TV kind of show to watch.
How long are Tweets supposed to be again? Maybe I should reconsider trying out Twitter.
Seraphine - French naive painter and cleaning woman Seraphine de Senlis is discovered by William Uhde. In French.
Departures - This year's winner of Best Foreign Film at the Oscars. Japanese cellist loses orchestra job, finds gainful employment in the undertaking business only to be ostracized by his family and wife. In Japanese.
Easy Virtue - Typical British comedy of manners based of a Noel Coward play. Critics concede it's not fantastic, with good performances by Kristen Scott Thomas and Colin Firth. Mediocre performance by Jessica Biel. I'd like to see it just because it seems like it's the only fun arthouse film available right now. And I'm a sucker for those Art Deco era society films.
Moon - Sam Rockwell's version of 2001 on the moon? Kevin Spacey stars as the HAL 9000 upgrade. Looks like the best pure sci-fi film to come out of any corner of Hollywood in a very long time. I definitely am going to see this.
Downloading Nancy - Just run the hell away from this one. Woman leaves husband to find "love" and "release" in S&M relationship from the internet (ahh, *this* is why I need to stop online dating!). This is probably a late-night-in-the-hotel-and-there's-nothing-on-TV kind of show to watch.
How long are Tweets supposed to be again? Maybe I should reconsider trying out Twitter.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Movie Review - O'Horten
If you like dry humor, please run to the nearest arthouse theater and see O'Horten (trailer here). It's hilarious, and touching.
O'Horten is about Odd Horten, a train engineer who is at the end of his career. There is a retirement party, and interesting situations ensue. After his retirement, he kind of wanders around in a world that he's become unfamiliar with. He wears his train engineer's jacket everywhere he goes, because what else would he wear? He falls asleep in strange places, and meets interesting people. He brings some closure to his past, and embarks on a new journey.
There is not a strong chronology to the film, as it feels like days, weeks, or months may have taken place between the episodes depicted. But I think it demonstrates how, in life, there are a few key events which we remember quite vividly among all the less-interesting days we have. Also I feel it demonstrates how we can get a better perspective on our lives once we have lived through it.
The cinematography is fantastic. There are several shots that are just so beautiful to watch. It's absolutely brilliant. Even if you hate this kind of movie (I have no idea what genre I would put this movie in. . . comedic drama doesn't quite do the film justice), go see it for the cinematography. The opening scene of O'Horten driving the train is particularly incredible.
The humor is dry. As in if you look at it funny, it will spontaneously combust. I could not stop giggling throughout the whole film. If you were at the screening I went to, those muffled giggles were coming from me. I'm sorry you didn't get the film as much as I did. I don't think I have a weird sense of humor - I think the film is supposed to be that funny.
The acting is very good. It can be hard to pay attention to acting when it's in a different language, especially an unfamiliar language, but there are several scenes that are not based on dialogue, and really highlight Bard Owe's talent.
The soundtrack is very good as well. A clip of it is used in the trailer.
I know in some parts of the country it may be difficult to find a theater showing this. Hopefully it will be out on DVD soon for rental or to purchase.
O'Horten is about Odd Horten, a train engineer who is at the end of his career. There is a retirement party, and interesting situations ensue. After his retirement, he kind of wanders around in a world that he's become unfamiliar with. He wears his train engineer's jacket everywhere he goes, because what else would he wear? He falls asleep in strange places, and meets interesting people. He brings some closure to his past, and embarks on a new journey.
There is not a strong chronology to the film, as it feels like days, weeks, or months may have taken place between the episodes depicted. But I think it demonstrates how, in life, there are a few key events which we remember quite vividly among all the less-interesting days we have. Also I feel it demonstrates how we can get a better perspective on our lives once we have lived through it.
The cinematography is fantastic. There are several shots that are just so beautiful to watch. It's absolutely brilliant. Even if you hate this kind of movie (I have no idea what genre I would put this movie in. . . comedic drama doesn't quite do the film justice), go see it for the cinematography. The opening scene of O'Horten driving the train is particularly incredible.
The humor is dry. As in if you look at it funny, it will spontaneously combust. I could not stop giggling throughout the whole film. If you were at the screening I went to, those muffled giggles were coming from me. I'm sorry you didn't get the film as much as I did. I don't think I have a weird sense of humor - I think the film is supposed to be that funny.
The acting is very good. It can be hard to pay attention to acting when it's in a different language, especially an unfamiliar language, but there are several scenes that are not based on dialogue, and really highlight Bard Owe's talent.
The soundtrack is very good as well. A clip of it is used in the trailer.
I know in some parts of the country it may be difficult to find a theater showing this. Hopefully it will be out on DVD soon for rental or to purchase.
The Things I Carry
I've been absent for longer than usual, I know. There's really not much to say.
I thought I had something good, and moved to be closer to him. Then he broke up with me shortly thereafter, citing his unhappiness and the fact that there will soon be no room for me in his life. It's OK. I'm not sad - I feel free. I've been happier than I've been in a long time, and for the first time I am single and happy. I'm moving back to South Bay. I've signed the lease on the new place and will be moving next week.
One box of cookbooks and general reference. One box of software reference. One box of literature. One box of books I'm trying to sell on Half.com. One box of sheet music and sewing reference. Two boxes of DVDs.
One box of decorative candles and associated items.
Two boxes of glassware and mugs, two boxes of dishes. Two big boxes with small appliances, cooking utensils and cookware.
Three nesting Samsonite suitcases, all filled with clothes. One box of belts and shoes. One box of bath and bed linens.
How much does a person really need to live? Air, and water. Enough food to eat. We are collectors, and collect stuff. Collect things. Feelings and memories. All the luggage we drag around with us, to be unloaded when we die.
Sometimes I wish I was still in college and could move everything I needed in the back of a Jeep Cherokee. Now I have to call a moving company because I am too physically and emotionally exhausted to move for the second time in less than six weeks.
I should have known that the tiny space allocated to me would not be enough for me. I should have known that there was no room for me here. Why did I do it? I don't know exactly. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I wanted to improve the relationship and not have a psuedo-long-distance relationship. I wanted to live cheaper and closer to The Huntington Library, which is my favorite place in greater Los Angeles. Sacrifice almost everything in the name of Love and saving money but not time. It's an almost romantic concept.
I should have known my efforts wouldn't be appreciated and that I wouldn't be welcome. Now I know.
In a few months I will probably want a boyfriend again. Men (and boys) are already chasing me. It's too exhausting to fight them off and yet some of them are utterly repulsive to me as potential partners. You want to take me out to dinner? Fine. A movie? Great. I don't want to sleep with you. Or you or you. I want to go home and sleep by myself. It's more comfortable that way. Really. I don't even want to just share a bed with you. I know that you'll charm me until you take advantage of me and leave me in the dust, and I know that you are a coward. I'm totally not interested, and I'm unamused by the pick-up techniques you learned on the internet. And all this stuff I carry, I carry on my own. I don't need your help to add to it.
I thought I had something good, and moved to be closer to him. Then he broke up with me shortly thereafter, citing his unhappiness and the fact that there will soon be no room for me in his life. It's OK. I'm not sad - I feel free. I've been happier than I've been in a long time, and for the first time I am single and happy. I'm moving back to South Bay. I've signed the lease on the new place and will be moving next week.
One box of cookbooks and general reference. One box of software reference. One box of literature. One box of books I'm trying to sell on Half.com. One box of sheet music and sewing reference. Two boxes of DVDs.
One box of decorative candles and associated items.
Two boxes of glassware and mugs, two boxes of dishes. Two big boxes with small appliances, cooking utensils and cookware.
Three nesting Samsonite suitcases, all filled with clothes. One box of belts and shoes. One box of bath and bed linens.
How much does a person really need to live? Air, and water. Enough food to eat. We are collectors, and collect stuff. Collect things. Feelings and memories. All the luggage we drag around with us, to be unloaded when we die.
Sometimes I wish I was still in college and could move everything I needed in the back of a Jeep Cherokee. Now I have to call a moving company because I am too physically and emotionally exhausted to move for the second time in less than six weeks.
I should have known that the tiny space allocated to me would not be enough for me. I should have known that there was no room for me here. Why did I do it? I don't know exactly. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I wanted to improve the relationship and not have a psuedo-long-distance relationship. I wanted to live cheaper and closer to The Huntington Library, which is my favorite place in greater Los Angeles. Sacrifice almost everything in the name of Love and saving money but not time. It's an almost romantic concept.
I should have known my efforts wouldn't be appreciated and that I wouldn't be welcome. Now I know.
In a few months I will probably want a boyfriend again. Men (and boys) are already chasing me. It's too exhausting to fight them off and yet some of them are utterly repulsive to me as potential partners. You want to take me out to dinner? Fine. A movie? Great. I don't want to sleep with you. Or you or you. I want to go home and sleep by myself. It's more comfortable that way. Really. I don't even want to just share a bed with you. I know that you'll charm me until you take advantage of me and leave me in the dust, and I know that you are a coward. I'm totally not interested, and I'm unamused by the pick-up techniques you learned on the internet. And all this stuff I carry, I carry on my own. I don't need your help to add to it.
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