Mein Liebling, College Students Are So Retarded

There's this girl in my British Literature class who is so stupid.

I don't mind when people come up with simple discussion questions, because at least they read the damn text we were supposed to read and put some thought into it.

But this girl, takes a line out of the text and takes it completely out of context. No, worse than taking it out of context. Brings in such manure that doesn't have anything to do with the text we're discussing.

And I call her on her bullshit, and she gets mad at me for doing so. And I get mad because she's so stupid she can't see beyond her retardedness. My favourite C.S. prof. described the type of person she is in three points:

They think they're profound when they are not.
They come up with something that sounds profound but it's not.
They don't understand that their profoundness is bullshit, and defend the lack of their profoundness.

Here is an example of what she brings to class, lifted straight from today.

We're reading "Sir Gawain and the Green Knight", and her discussion is "what is the significance of the Round Table in the text?" My first thought is, there isn't any, and page to the one line the Round Table is mentioned: (line 38-39 for those who have the poem)

"Many good knights and gay his guests were there,
Arrayed of the Round Table rightful brothers,"

There's a note in our text for line 39, which states: "According to legend, Merlin made the Round Table after a dispute broke out among Arthur's knights about precedence: it seated one hundred knights. The table described in the poem is not round." (emphasis my own)

And I mention that the Round Table isn't even in the story, that the line is describing who is at this damn party (you could say "Arthur's Knights", but then conceivably Arthur had many more knights at his disposal than those who sat at the Round Table), and the story takes place before the Round Table is even made. She goes over to where I'm seated, points out the line in my book and the note, and says, "There it is. It's right there." And I say, "I know it's right there, but the Round Table isn't even there! There's no significance because it doesn't exist at that point in time!" And then our professor asks me a question about my point, the girl sits down and whispers with her friends and then they giggle. So I assume they're talking about me, but at this point I don't really care. If she wants to stay stupid she can go right ahead.

Another example is her second discussion of "Beowulf"; the lines in question are 1605-1611:

"Meanwhile, the sword
began to wilt into gory icicles
to slather and thaw. It was a wonderful thing,
the way it all melted as ice melts
when the Father eases the fetters off the frost
and unfavels the water-ropes, He who wields power
over time and tide: He is the true Lord."

She tries to pull the idea that God melted the sword, which immediately smells of bullshit to me, because the whole point is that Grendel's mother's blood is so vile and nasty it melts the blade. I don't say anything, because I skimmed this section of the poem. Later, I go home and read lines 1612-1618:

"The Geat captain saw treasure in abundance
but carried no spoils from those quarters
except for the head and the inlaid hilt
embossed with jewels; its blade had melted
and the scrollwork on it burned, so scalding was the blood
of the poisonous fiend who had perished there."

Did she even read "Beowulf"? My first impression is: No.

By the way, I think my friend Dan (who is also in the course) will be taking bets when I finally kick her teeth in.

Sweat It Out

I forgot how out of shape I am. I went down to the HPER (Tech's gym, for those unfamiliar with the lingo) today to work out, expecting to start running again, and ended up going for a 10 minute walk on the treadmill and a 20 minute session on the new elliptical machine. And that was enough for me. For today at least. Maybe I'll be able to run for 30 minutes straight in October at the rate I'm going.

For those who haven't experienced the new elliptical machines, they appear to be a cross between a stair-stepper and an elliptical machine. It's a very weird motion to get used to.

Had my Literature of Decadence class today. That class is going to be a lot of fun. Mein prof. is so entertaining, he can spew a lecture worth two pages of notes (front and back) in an hour and a half. Most profs. are lucky to get half the front page in a 50 minute time period. That, and there's so much interesting stuff to be said about totally wacked characters who only seem capable of focusing on sex, food, pleasure, and themselves, for the most part. The challenge is to see how far we can get before passing judgement on these people.

Anyway, in terms of my relative unenthusiasm for school, Lit. of Decadence is the most exciting thing since Coffee AND Chocolate in ice cream.

I'm supposed to write about my accomplishments for my Writing 2 class tomorrow. And I honestly can't think of an accomplishment worth mentioning. I managed to graduate high school near the top of my class, with honors, but then I thought most of the people I graduated with were dolts. I'll be Tech's first female Software Engineer, but it'll take me 5 years to escape with my degree. I was Tech's chapter of the ACM's president for a year, but I was so mentally out of it that I wasn't a very good leader. I used to be a Marine Officer Candidate, but I managed to wash out because I couldn't pass the initial PFT(Even though I blame my still-healing ankle and the sinus infection I had 3 weeks before shipping, in reality I think I'm just weak). I totalled two vehicles in under six months. I managed to find myself someone crazy enough to marry me in college, but he was a passive-aggressive emotional abuser. Are these accomplishments that I should be proud of? I think not. So what do I put as "accomplishments"?

Nothing I have has been bought with my own sweat and blood. I have nothing to show for my 4+ years of college education, except that I don't want to be a software engineer. I have no job experience for the dream job I've picked out, no job experience whatsoever unless I want to be a barista for Starbucks or handle chicken at KFC.

Can't Sleep

So instead of doing something productive like reading Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse-Five" or dreaming up a better question for tomorrow's "discussion" of Beowulf, I'm sitting here, blogging away.

That, and wasting epic amounts of time on mySpace. I found a kid who used to live across the street from me when I lived in California. Turns out he's into women and marijuana. And he used to be so . . . nice.

I had a conversation with my roommate the other day. She and her fiance took a couple of their friends to quite possibly the most over-priced restaurant in Butte. (Apparently the food is also really good) Anyway, she told me all I had to do was find myself a rich boyfriend to take me there, since it is kind of a romantic, Italian-type place. While I'm amused at what she considers "good enough" for me (as long as he's rich enough to take me to Spaghettini's, and nice enough to take a girl out to eat), I told her it wasn't going to happen. Not in Butte, and not this year. She has her doubts.

I, on the other hand, am perfectly content with taking myself out to eat (the Acoma has great cocktails and filet mignon). While I would rather have a delightful dinner companion, my experience with those have been insanely disappointing. It's enough for a girl to swear off men forever, and either date girls exclusively (which isn't going to happen) or jump into the Berkeley Pit (which also isn't going to happen).

And this is why I'm happier alone.

Apathy

Well, Tech won against Western 40-24 today. Go Diggers.

I've been fairly apathetic this week; it didn't really get bad until around Wednesday or so. I'm not even sure why I'm so mentally in the hole.

All I want to do is sleep, and stare at the wall, for the most part. And eat copious amounts of chocolate. And it really sucks, because there's people out there that have shittier lives than I do, there's people dying a half a world away and there's not a damn thing I can do about it, and all I seem to be capable of right now is wallowing in a hole of my own misery.

It would be nice to have someone to go to dinner and movies and games with, but that's about it. It would be nice to be able to call someone up and say, "Hey, let's go do something tonight" and have something exciting and interesting happen. But life, it seems, is not nice. Or at least it hasn't been the kindest to me.

In the Middle of the Night

I hate it when you wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep.

Supposedly, I'm supposed to dream up a "discussion question" regarding what I've read of Beowulf for my class tomorrow. Except, I'm not impressed with the poem. But this is what I've come up with:

What is the significance of Grendel attacking Heorot?
"The great hall was the community meeting place in Norse culture. In attacking the hall, Grendel attacks Nordic civilization."

Now, if you're in my class, don't steal this and turn it in for yourself. I'll find out who you are, hunt you down and introduce you to my boots. They're hungry for some action.

Maybe I've got the wanderlust or something, because I never seem happy staying in one place for too long. The idea of being at Tech for another whole year of school is just so depressing and demoralizing. I just feel like I've been in Butte too long, that the students are too predictible, and some of the retardedness that goes on is utterly uninteresting and a waste of my time. If I didn't know that something was going to be retarded, I have the opportunity to be disappointed. But now that I know things will be stupid in advance I feel like there's no point in actually going.

For example, today I went to this Veteran's benefits meeting, because I'm leeching off of my Dad's educational VA benefits, and I got a letter in the mail saying I had to go. I went to this last year, and couldn't imagine what they could dream up this year that was so important as to call a "mandatory meeting". And they fed us at this "barbeque", which was really the SUB's attempt at Cajun cooking. Seafood from Montana Tech Food Service is usually bad to begin with, but catered seafood from Montana Tech was. . .interesting. They had oysters on the half-shell, which I was impressed with, even though I felt sick to the stomach after eating them. And I have a feeling that the gumbo they served isn't like the gumbo that you would get in New Orleans.

I did see several people I know at the "barbeque", and mentioned to my favorite professor that the Veteran's meeting was going to be a disappointing waste of my time. And Prof. Handley said, "As you get older, people tend to come up with new things to drain your time" (or something like that), which I felt was true. I also ran into one of the counselors at Tech, who I've gotten to know in passing over the years. And he asked me how I was, and how I was doing. When I said, "I'm doing OK", he sat down and talked with me for a few minutes, and invited me to stop by his office. Maybe he's just doing his job, but it's rare that someone asks you how you're doing and really care about the answer.