Marathon Doping

I'm not plugged into the running news like Don is with cycling, but I read this today and thought it would be good to share.

The Confessions of Eddy Hellebuyck

It's a very well-written editorial; I'm so used to Runners' World publishing new diet and training fads.  I was pretty sad when The Penguin left Runners' World and it felt like the quality of writing there declined dramatically.  So this piece was very refreshing to me.

Dinner Tonight - Greek Chicken & Pasta

I just found a recipe that will save my evening.

I wanted to make something that involved penne pasta and chicken, with minimal cleaning and tasty.  Of course that pretty much leaves me with heavy alfredo and tomato sauces, but I found something that I think will be just as tasty and healthier:

Penne with Greens, Olives and Feta

Yes!  He loves olives, so I think this will be a hit.  Coupled with chicken breasts marinated in olive oil, lemon juice and oregano, ala Braised Greek Chicken and Artichokes, I think that would be tasty.

One Year Later

Just a year ago I ran my first marathon, not knowing what it was going to be like after mile 20 or how hard or painful it would be to just keep going, one step in front of the other.  There are some official race photos where it's obvious I'm walking and in pain.  Quads and feet aren't supposed to burn like that.  I remember around mile 18 my feet swelled up in my shoes and I honestly didn't know if I was going to physically be able to keep going.  By mile 20 my feet weren't bothering me anymore, but it was certainly a scare for me.  I had made the cosmic bet that I was going to finish that day, and I had gone all-in with everything I had.

 I accomplished my goal, which I admit at this point seems fuzzy and perhaps contradictory.  To be honest when I crossed that finish line I was just happy to not be pushing myself forward anymore.  I didn't feel changed, or like I had restored whatever honor or face I thought I'd lost.  It was anti-climactic and somewhat disappointing.  I remember my friends had opened a bottle of champagne with dinner that night and all I really wanted to do was lie down and hope my legs would stop hurting.  The realization I might have actually accomplished something came months later, when I was thinking about going out for a run and thinking, "Damn!  26 miles is far!"  It came when I would tell people I was training for a half or another full, and they would give me those funny looks that said "You're crazy!"

Where do you go from there?  When you've spent so much energy consumed by one goal, what happens after?  I guess in my case I go out and do it again.  I really enjoy running half marathons, and I feel I'm a strong-enough runner where I can start to strategize my approach to running half marathons pretty well.  Full marathons are another story.  I still feel I'm just surviving that distance.

I'm stronger and faster today than I was a year ago.  I'd like to think I'm healthier mentally and emotionally as well.  I probably still push myself much too hard in races and not hard enough in training, but it's something I can work on.

I'm running marathon #2 this weekend - MCM again - it's a nice course and the logistics/support are most excellent.  Plus my dad can get off my case about the colors they use on the ribbon (I'm pretty sure it's going to be scarlet and gold this year - 35 years of MCM!).  I bought a bike recently and I'm going to incorporate some triathlons into my racing season next year.

I haven't peaked yet - I'm not sure I'll run MCM next year, as it's an expensive trip for me, but I'm certainly going to keep running!

President Obama Speaks at USC

I got to hear President Obama speak at USC on Friday.  Unfortunately I didn't get to see him because of the way the stage was set up and the size of the crowd.

I really hoped he would have a very inspirational, motivating speech, but it was just a pro-Democratic stump speech.  I thought he sounded a bit desperate. I was really sad and disappointed as President Obama is known for his uplifting and inspirational speeches and I hoped I could hear something I could take away from the experience.

I've been trying to find a place to upload his speech (around 20 min, 521 MB).  If anyone knows of a good free video hosting site, please let me know so I can get the video out.

And hey Trojans. . . . .Fight On!

What Else He Shaves

I'm starting to think I must *really* suck at relationships.  They fail when I feed them with much love and affection, they fail when I feed less love and affection.  They fail when I try too hard.  They fail when I give up trying.  What?  What is it?  Why can I get it to work?

I'm a bit lost that people say women have so much power in relationships, because I just am not seeing that at all.  I don't think I'm ever going to get married to that guy who's the perfect teammate for me and have little fat babies.  I'll have fat Shiba Inus instead.  Because the people love just isn't working for me.  It's tragic and I'm frustrated and I honestly cannot figure out what I'm doing wrong.  I can suspect, and change the gameplan a little each time I go out with someone new, but it's always, without fail, an epic failure every time.

How is it that I can be so damn smart and yet so dumb with this relationship bullshit?  I mean, the player I knew in college got married, and the jerk who used me to move to South Bay before dumping me has been married for a year and a half already.

Maybe I'm just un-marriable.

Strangely enough I think I'm picking better guys with each iteration, although the last guy (not the current guy) is a bit of an outlier.  Weirdo.

Anyway.  We had this "State of the Relationship" talk the other night. One of the the things that came up was jealousy and opposite-sex friendships.  I thought we had already talked about it, but apparently we didn't really see eye-to-eye on things.  I certainly did not see that I was here and he was way the fuck over there (on that topic, the relationship, etc. etc.).  How'd I miss that?  To tease me at the end of the conversation, he said,

"So who's this guy you went to dinner with the other night?"

"He's a friend from cycling.  He's nice; I got the impression that he wanted it to be a date but I told him beforehand that I had a boyfriend.  He seemed disappointed, poor guy."

"You're not attracted to him?"

"No, not really."

"Why not?"

"Uh (I don't need to look when I'm *with* someone already!  Gee, one guy is hard enough for me to figure out!  What am I gonna do with two!?), I don't know.  He's a cyclist.  He shaves his legs.  That's weird."  (Sorry Don! I had to say something!)

"He shaves his legs huh?  I wonder what else he shaves?!"

"Eew!"

So There I Was . . . . .

Standing in Victoria's Secret, a bit vexed they didn't have the pretty lacy "lilac frost" panties to match the bra I found, and perturbed that their selection of pretty white delicates were lacking.  I have the free cotton panties in my hand, along with the white delicates I decided to settle for.

A fellow who was there with his wife and small daughter looked at me, and said, "You work at The Company, right?"

I honestly never saw this fellow before in my life.  How the hell did he know?  "Uh, yeah.  I work at The Company." 

"I knew I recognized you!  I see you all the time walking by my building!  You're always going somewhere!" 

"Yeah, I'm on my way to Coffee Bean."  I'm standing there with panties in my hand talking to some married guy I've never seen before who's apparently been spying on me at work long enough to notice that I frequent the nearby cafe.  This seems ripe for comedy.

"That's right!  You're always walking back with coffee!"

He's got me like a deer in headlights now, because I'm not walking to Coffee Bean all that much these days.  Not only that, but how can someone notice me for so long and yet not eventually say hello and introduce himself?  Preferably in the context where he's been noticing me, and not in a lingerie store?

I'm not sure whether to be slightly disturbed that this guy recognized me without my Company Badge (which, if you don't socialize with coworkers, ensures your anonymity at The Company.  At least, I have a hard time remembering names of people I rarely interact with when I don't see their badges), or to be perplexed that I was having a random conversation I did not initiate with a married man at Victoria's Secret.

At any rate, I obviously need to find a better way to get to Coffee Bean.  Or do a better job at becoming a mistress of disguise.  Or figure out how to exploit this strange ability or quirk to profit and make my millions.

Brown People vs. Black People

You know how people are either brown people or black people?  Brown or black being the predominant "accessory" color.  Brown shoes, black shoes.  Brown belt, black belt.  Brown bag, black bag.

I've always thought I was a black person.  I have more black shoes than brown, I think black eyeliner looks better on me than brown eyeliner (when I actually manage to wear the stuff).

And then of course he has to say, "I think you're more of a brown person, with your skin tone and hair color."  Then again, he's biased, because he's most obviously a brown person.

So because I'm curious, here starts the great Brown Experiment of 2010.  I'm still skeptical.

Dinner For One - Meatball Sandwich

All right here we go.  Really unhealthy today.  You can see I'm trying to offset the meatballs by throwing in the carrots and broccoli, but then I lose points by adding the side of ranch dip.

I'm pretty sure this could be a dinner for two or three, but let's be lazy and say that I'm making a meatball sandwich for dinner and I'm gonna eat meatball sandwiches for lunch all week.

Meatball Sandwiches
1 bag of Trader Joe's frozen Meatballs
1 can of tomato sauce
1 can of diced tomatoes
garlic (I used a spoonful of pureed garlic from Trader Joe's)
olive oil
basil
oregano
pepper
provolone cheese
whole wheat french rolls

OK.  Heat up a small saucepan, and pour in a little olive oil.  When it heats up put in the garlic and add the tomato sauce and diced tomatoes.  Stir in basil, oregano and pepper.  Wait for it to bubble and turn into a really good sauce.  Add the meatballs and disappear for half an hour.

Toast the french roll, add the cheese and some meatballs, and eat.  I recommend you be unhealthier than me and eat with potato chips.  :)

Race Report - Heartbreak Ridge Half Marathon

Apparently this means I'm a 27-year-old Civilian.  Military types got a "M" on their right leg.  I've never been involved in a race where they mark your legs up, so this was new to me.

The Heartbreak Ridge Half Marathon at Camp Pendleton was certainly more difficult for me than San Francisco.  It was hot, the dirt-packed trail was uneven and hilly, and my foot decided to act up on me too.  But finishing this race was certainly one of the most satisfying things I've done.

I really like being on Marine bases.  I don't know why.  It's just a nostalgic thing; I know what to expect from the experience and everyone is just there to have a good time.

There was a woman Marine who was carrying the flag that day; she was dressed in all black and on the flag were all the names of the people who died on 9/11.  I'm not particularly sentimental about 9/11, but I thought what she did was pretty cool and she's much tougher than me.  We passed each other up until just after the half-way mark, and then when we passed her up for the last time we chatted a bit.  We remarked on the super-fast man who practically finished just as we were passing the 3-mile mark, and the uneven terrain.  We were just past 9 miles when she said that they're going to send the snipers out in a couple miles.  "Let's hope they miss!"  I said.

I don't know if I'll do this race again; the shirts were pretty cool (although the fabric isn't the best technical t-shirt fabric) and it was really a nice experience to be on a base again and be around all that military spirit, but this was truly an energy-sapping race.  On the other hand, it was really cheap ($40) and it was very, very satisfying to finish.

I ran this with a friend who runs triathlons.  He is a much stronger runner than I am, even though he's been on the "cookie eating training plan".  He gave me a bunch of tips on motivation and breathing, and I was able to give him tips on running hills.  Even though he was stronger, I have a slightly better technique for charging up and down hills than he does.  So that was nice that we could share knowledge like that with each other.  Even though I kept pestering him to run on ahead of me, he insisted we stay together and cross the finish line together.  It was really nice of him and his encouragement certainly helped me finish faster than I otherwise would have.

I Feel Like I Must Be A Racist. . . .

Because I think the "good" dancer must be a black man. . . . and the "bad" dancer is a white engineer.

Psychologists Identify Killer Dance Moves For Men

Dinner For One - Fettuccine Alfredo with Chicken

I'm threw this together tonight after I realized I had all the ingredients.

The Alfredo sauce is based on the one I've posted before (incidentally one of the most popular posts on this blog), and I marinated the chicken breast in lemon juice and olive oil.

Alfredo Sauce

• 2 TB Butter
• 2 TB Heavy Cream
• 1/4 c. Grated Parmesan (I honestly have no idea how much I used, I'm a bit of a mouse and love cheese), plus more to top
• Dash Nutmeg

OK, after marinating the chicken I sauteed it in some olive oil and garlic.  Seasoned with salt, pepper, and paprika.  You can add some Italian herbs if you like as well.  While the first side was cooking I heated up my water for the pasta.

When the pasta was done I drained the pasta and put it somewhere else, somewhere not the pot.  Melt the butter and add the cream to the pot, put it back on the stove on low.  When the sauce gets warm and starts to thicken, add the cheese and noodles.  Toss.  Top with the nutmeg.

Why Do Free Upgraded Drinks Bother Me?

I ordered an Original-sized Pomegranate Paradise with soy protein.  Why did this dude just give me one that looks like the Original-sized cup took steroids?  Sure, he was being flirty and extra helpful when I ordered, but. . . . oh.  I get it now.  It's not that I don't appreciate the favor, it's that I asked for one thing at a beverage counter (in this case, Jamba Juice), and distinctly got something I did not want.  I'm pretty sure I eat enough sandwiches, so it can't be because they think I need to eat more.  In which case, I don't think all the frozen smoothies from Jamba Juice can help me.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened to me.  Go all the way back to 2006, Twin Falls, Idaho, at the Starbucks inside Barnes & Noble.  There was this barista who had spent a lot of time in Lodi and in some weird way we got along and over time I realized he had taken a liking to me.  He started adding stuff to my coffee orders as "favors" that totally annoyed me and made me not want to go there.

"Do you like it?  I added an extra shot of espresso for you."  Thanks man, now the coffee-to-flavor-to-steamed-milk ratio is all fscked up.  If I drink the whole thing I am going to be extra-super wired for the rest of the day.  This is not what I wanted.  :(

I know I should just smile and roll with it, be grateful and thank the Beverage Gods that there are beverage service people who want to do favors for girls they think are cute.  One day I will not be cute anymore, and the baristas and juice guys are not going to surprise me with an upgraded drink for free.

But man, it bothers me.  It's not fair to all the other random strangers who wander into the cafe or juice joint and wander out with exactly whatever drink they ordered.  It bothers me because I don't want to turn into one of those snobby bitches who ask the barista to scoop off the foam (why would I do that?!?  The stuff tastes great!).  It bothers me that I can't be a random stranger whenever I go to whatever place.  I gotta be the odd person out.  I should take my free upgrade and run, but I wish I didn't feel so guilty about it.

I don't get this kind of treatment at my Coffee Bean near work.  They're all just nice to me because I go there a lot and we're all friendly.  They know what I like (it's Americanos with room now) and they've never tried to surprise me with some magical "favor".

Whitewater Kayaking

Last weekend I spent up at the Kern River whitewater kayaking.  I took a 101 course from Shannon at Sierra Sports, and she's an awesome instructor and guide.

I obviously don't have quite the upper body strength or endurance for two full days of kayaking, but I had a lot of fun and learned something new.  I didn't quite get to the point where I could perform rolls unassisted, but I'm sure with practice I'll get there.   I got banged up a bit on some Class II/III rapids that turned me over and forced me to bail out, but it was all in good fun.

One of the best parts about the weekend was the camping!  I haven't been camping in years and even though there were no showers and just a port-o-potty, I had a great time.  I saw the most magnificent sky of stars both Friday and Saturday nights.  We saw 5 meteors on Friday night and 3 on Saturday (probably part of the Perseid meteor shower), plus a couple spy satellites on Saturday night.

If you're ever up by Bakersfield and want something fun to do, go check out Sierra Sports and take a class from Shannon!

Olivia

I met a delightful little girl at the podiatrist's today.

I was sitting in the waiting room reading a magazine when she approached me with a cup of water she drew from the water cooler.  "Here you go!" she said.  She drew a cup of water for herself and sat down next to me.

"Thank you!  That's very thoughtful of you!  What's your name?"

"Olivia.  What's yours?"

"Diane."

"Diane?  Do you have a little girl?"  Holy shit.  The questions little girls ask.

"No, I don't have any daughters or sons."

"Do you have a husband?"

"No, I don't have a husband either!"

Olivia's mom came in and started putting Olivia's shoes on.  "Mommy, this is Diane, and she doesn't have any little girls and no husband either!"  Apparently Olivia found my lacking of daughters and husbands noteworthy.

Where was I?  Oh yeah.  Podiatrist's office.  If you ever want a podiatrist in South Bay Los Angeles, I got you one.  This guy is awesome.  Dr. Thompson on Skypark in Torrance, but he also has an office on Sepulveda in Manhattan.  Best doctor I've met in South Bay so far.

Anyway, I'm cleared to race on Sunday.  Yay!  And both my podiatrist and my physical therapist think I need as little support as possible - neutral shoes all the way for me.

I'm going to drive up to San Francisco tomorrow, and it's going to be excellent.  Tomorrow also happens to be 100 days to MCM as well.  The countdown is on!

So Sunday.  A year ago I ran the same race, and it was quite possibly the most awesome running experience of my life.  Yes, it trumps my beloved first marathon.  When I finished the race I had the most magnificent runner's high.  I was certainly not the fastest half-marathoner that day, but to me, I had just conquered the known Universe.  And I really wanted to f*** someone.  (Hey, conquerors claim prizes all the time, right?)

On top of all of that, I also PR'd that day (PR stands for Personal Record).  I think my time was something like 2:37.  It is easily the toughest half-marathon course I've run, but I had my best time to date.

I'm going to take that bridge by storm this year.  Bring it, hills of San Francisco!  And I'm going to break 2:30. . . . or else I'll just go back next year and do better.

Speed Bump

OK, I'm officially not ever shopping at your store again, Road Runner Sports!  You might have screwed my 2010 racing season up for good!

I went in last weekend to get a new pair of shoes.  Mine were starting to get a bit fatigued and I thought it would be nice to have a new pair for my race next weekend.  They were Mizuno Wave Rider 12s, a neutral shoe.  I never had any problems with them and enjoyed running in them.

At Road Runner Sports, one of the things I liked (read that, liked!  I'm not liking you guys anymore!) about their store is that they have some pressure sensitive mats and a video camera on a treadmill that can analyze how you step, how high your arch is, etc.

Well, my left foot overpronates a bit.  Nothing to be worried about, and while I do have nagging pains every once in a while on my left side, it's nothing I freak out about.  I just make sure I stretch and chalk it up to my body's unique idiosyncrasy.

The girl at RRS practically snapped at me, "Who said it was OK for you to run in neutrals!  You should be in stability shoes!".

For the record, no, no I do not need to be in stability shoes.  Give me my neutral Mizunos and leave my overpronating left foot alone.

So last night, I get the great idea to test out the new shoes (also Mizunos, but stability ones, with a stiffer sole) during my speed workout.  My feet hurt a bit after the run, but I chalked it up to just breaking-in pains.  By 9:00 PM, my left foot had a swollen lump on it (near the back of the arch) and was very painful.  I iced it, and tried to go to sleep.

12:30 AM - I decided to go to the hospital, since the darn foot woke me up and I couldn't put a lot of weight on it.

4:30 AM - The doctor decides to "aspirate" the hematoma (bruise), but we get nothing.  Great.  I've been poked thrice (once for the numbing agent, two tries for the "aspiration") for nothing.  The doctor did say she could inject some liquid Motrin, but I decline.  They send me home with crutches.  I'm slightly grateful for the crutches, because I'm not sure how I could have gotten to my car otherwise.

7:20 AM - I arrive at work after a short nap, sans crutches.  For whatever reason my foot doesn't mind walking around so much.

All of this wouldn't be so stressful if I didn't have San Francisco's half next weekend.  They don't defer registration, and I think even if I could get it deferred it's past the deadline (July 11th).  Brilliant.

I'm totally going to return those shoes and never shop there again.  If they're willing to exchange me some Wave Rider 13s (supposed to be very similar to the 12s) I'll concede them that, but no more shopping there for me.  It's gonna be Village Runner or A Snail's Pace all the way.

Since I'm doing so well today I'm hoping I can just take it easy this week and next and be OK for the half marathon.  I hope.  Man it would suck having to tell my parents they can't watch me race because some blond bimbo at the store tried to tell me what would "work better" for my feet than what was already working fine.  I should make her pay for the hotel and registration fee.

Restaurant Review - Rinaldi's

Oh man, this place is awesome.  I can't recommend this local sandwich shop more.  They use Boar's Head Deli meats, have both hot and cold subs, and a large variety of chips.  I'm never going to Subway again!

The new fellow I'm seeing recommended this place to me for lunch, and it's fantastic.  I wish I had known about this place sooner, because it's pretty much right in my backyard.

I can't wait to get to San Francisco next week and hit up some of the Italian delis there, but I'm stoked that there's one I can frequent for lunch on a weekly basis.

I had the 6" USC Trojans today (come on!  What else would I order?), and it was fantastic.  Add some Kettle Chips and a drink to your order and soak up that sandwich bliss.

323 Main St
El Segundo, CA 90245
(310) 647-2860

The Gripping Hand

One of my favorite operators in C++ is the ternary operator, rarely used in practice.  I was first exposed to it my first or second year of college and immediately liked it.  It was just such a quick and elegant way to express something that could take up four or five lines of code.

I'm not quite sure where I was going with this now, because I really wanted to talk about The Gripping Hand concept in Niven and Pournelle's "The Mote in God's Eye".  Possibly because ternary operator makes me think of ternary logic, and this "gripping hand" concept kind of deals with that. 

I think humans tend to be a bit binary in how we think (on one hand we have A, on the other hand we have B).  So this idea of the Gripping Hand was novel and interesting to me in the book.  Basically, the aliens in the novel have three hands; two hands for detailed work, and one heavy "gripping hand" for the strong-arm stuff.  Because these aliens have three hands, their logic follows suit: on one hand we have A, on the other hand we have B, but on the gripping hand, C.

One of my classmates from USC, who you could say is one of those engineer-types who needs the ideal, perfect solution, asked me which job offer of two he should take.  "Job A makes more money and is stable, but Job B is innovative and unstable.  I'd get to program with Job B."  He liked neither offer enough to pick one on his own.  "So go hunting for more jobs," I said.  Not that he liked that idea any better, but hey.  I guess even the Gripping Hand argument can't win all the time.

Every Time I'm Disappointed . . . .

I try to tell myself that I wasn't entitled to whatever I thought I was supposed to get.  Why this is such a difficult concept for others in my generation, I'll never know.  It certainly is frustrating trying to explain the concept to people who just don't want to see it.  Maybe I am not being articulate enough.

For example, I'm not entitled to receiving e-mails from random strangers from whatever online dating service I use decides it wants to match me with.  I'm not entitled to phone calls from certain guys I happen to be infatuated with.  Unless I'm actually in a relationship with some person and can reasonably expect a certain behavior from that person, I'm not entitled to whatever behavior I thought I was going to get from that person.  Or something like that.  (While it's possible I can correctly predict what will happen given two data points, that is certainly no guarantee, and it's not fair of me to blame the other person for the surprise.)

I have to treat myself respectfully and love myself fully before I can garner any similar feelings for or from another human being.  By putting the responsibility of my happiness and satisfaction in my life out of my hands and into someone else's, I've automatically doomed myself to disappointment and misery.

Also. . . .isn't it nice that life isn't quite what I expected it would be?  For all the downs, I've had some pretty awesome ups as well, including ones I was not anticipating.

Race Report - Redondo Beach 4th of July 5K

Well today surely could have gone better.  I can't imagine it going worse!

It was kind of the perfect storm of crappy circumstances.  I had wanted to PR for this 5K but I knew I had slim chances, given I did a long (7.5 mile) run yesterday that I consider a resounding success.  In the grand scheme of things I feel the long run was a lot more important to feel good about than the 5K.

Showing up at the race at 7:00 AM wasn't early enough this year; the awesome parking spot I had last year had already been taken, so I had to park about a block and a half further away.  Not bad, but there aren't many free parking spots in that part of town.  I can't imagine how ridiculous it will be next year, having to show up 90 minutes before the race.

I do really love how much support this 5K gets every year.  It's also fantastic to see all the parents out with their kids and dog people out with their dogs.  I saw a pair of Dalmatians who were just raring to go, as well as a woman with both a Dachshund and a very grumpy German Shepherd.  Lots of happy Labrador Retrievers as well.

The weather was great for running; not sure what the actual temperature ended up being, but it was overcast and relatively cool.

From this day forward I will not deviate from my proven breakfast strategy of Clif bar and banana chased with water and sometimes coffee.  Oh man.  I thought I'd be fine with cereal and strawberries since that was what I had yesterday morning, but no.  My race day stomach would not have anything of it.

TMI warning, but this was my first race where I had to deal with day 1 of a "monthly" visitor.  Totally not fun.  I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.

My legs were still pretty tired from last night's run, and about halfway through my calves and ankles were screaming, "What fresh hell is this, woman?  What is WRONG with you?"  I did have to stop and walk a few times, but I think overall I'm a much stronger runner now, even compared with last year.

I was able to have an all-right kick at the end, and I definitely pushed myself pretty hard that last mile; hopefully the photos come out with me looking like a winner and not desperate or goofy-looking.  I want some awesome "I am woman, hear me roar!" finish photos some day.  My time? 33:44 (10:53 min miles).  Not bad considering the situation.  Maybe I'll sign up for a Turkey Trot this fall and try to PR then.  I definitely think I'm capable of a sub-30:00 5k under better personal conditions.

Now I Wonder

I was a little surprised at getting picked up at my apartment on our last date.  I didn't really have the time to "sanitize" the place.  Now I gotta wonder what he must have thought when he most likely saw this stack of books in my bookshelf (top shelf, center stack):

Well?  Don't you?

Baggage

We all have emotional baggage.  That shit that weighs us down, that we drag through the years hoping to somehow unburden ourselves of it.  If we're really awful, we force the people around us to carry it for us.  If we're really evolved, we've discovered how to just let it go.  If you're like the rest of us, you pull it all hoping that it doesn't get any heavier.

One particular piece of baggage that I've carried with me involves men and abandonment.  When I was a little girl my dad used to be gone for six months out of the year.  To this day I have no idea how my mom did it, because I'm fairly certain I'm much too insecure to deal with that.

I've always been afraid of being abandoned.  I'd chase my boyfriends with phone calls because I wasn't secure enough to let them contact me.  When they finally would abandon me, I would wonder why I even cared all that much about them in the first place.  Knowing why a thing is broken doesn't do much in terms of fixing it.

He's lightened that load without me even realizing it.  For the first time do I feel free in letting him contact me, secure of his attraction and desire.  How refreshing to let him pursue me at his pace, knowing that he'll be back.  There's a je ne sais quois about his attitude, about how he looks at me, and I just know that I have nothing to worry about.  I'm safe with him.

I savor the sweetness and realize that I think nothing of calling him.  Nothing of a text, an e-mail, a poke on the infamous book of faces.  I relax in that I know he'll be back, and it's delightful.

Granted, I've just been exhausted too, so maybe I took that particular piece of luggage and left it at the last stop.

What Fresh Hell Is This?

Just when you think you've got the world figured out Life throws you a curve ball.  Happens every time.

All my friends would be right to say my love life is a mess.  I've always wanted that certain special relationship.  I've tried so hard to create that in my life, with whatever poor sap that was the mark for the next 8 months or how ever long he decided to stay around.  I always strived to create that great relationship.  Failed miserably every time.

Went through my whole emotional Renaissance.  All "Let's be single until after grad school" planned out.  Fully intended for that to happen.  But I made a profile on eHarmony just in case I was matched with someone I took a liking to.  At least create the opportunity to go out on a date if I wanted to.  But honestly I've been exhausted about dating, about relationships, and none of my matches really excited me.  The idea of logging on and looking sounds tiring.  I probably have 15 communications sitting in my account right now that I just don't want to deal with.

So I meet this guy, and he's just, you know.  Perfect.  Went to grad school with a woman from work.  Good buddies with her boyfriend.  We met one night after I went to happy hour with my colleague.  Next thing you know he's asked me out and he's just being the perfect gentleman and all. . . .dreamy.  Perfect smile, warm brown eyes.  Nice voice.  Sweet on me.

And I feel like such a mess.  If we had met a year ago I'd probably be doing all sorts of things to get in my own damn way.  Now I'm just too drained to do anything but let him be nice to me.  He knows quite a few of my embarrassing stories (like the one I don't think I told anyone in L.A. - how'd he tease that story out of me?), and read my whole story of why I run and was somehow not scared off by the fact I used to be a Marine Officer Candidate.  Practically poured over my entire Facebook profile and read everything.  Somehow did not get scared off.

He makes me feel comfortable and safe and I don't get creeped out that he's interested in me.  Did I mention we have compatible interests (runs triathlons!) and he loves to travel?  Not to mention has great stories?  Don't get me started on how I asked him the "would you go to Mars?" question and even though he didn't say yes, his answer reminded me of something I read in this article and made me say, "Aw!  That's so sweet!"

My colleague is really excited.  Before we went out on our second date, she asked me when it would be.  "I don't know, but it's a little late to set up something for this weekend."

"Oh!  You're supposed to go out on date #2 this weekend and then you're supposed to get married!!"

Say what?

Turns out we did go out on date #2 this weekend.  He called me Saturday to set it up.  I normally don't like going out on such short notice but he's out of town until after the 4th and he's been punctual and completely not flaky.  If we end up getting married she needs to go to the wedding to tell that story.  Because that would be a damn fine story to hear at a wedding.

But honestly, I'm terrified.  I'm a deer in the headlights.  My shit's not together, I'm not ready for this!  I feel like I'm moving in slow-motion and the world is moving in real-time around me.  It also feels like a giant conspiracy.  Some star is looking down at my situation and having a great big laugh at my expense.  Thanks Fate.  Way to kick me while I'm down.

There is No "The One"

I read this today in the comments section of a Slate advice article, and was overjoyed at the wisdom of this statement:

"Just to clear something up with my characteristic killjoy crabiness: There is no "The One." That is a fantasy sold to us by movies and romance novels. If you are looking for "The One" you will end up constantly chasing after greener grass once the initial heat of a relationship dies down, and, in my opinion, doing so will make you unhappy.

From my perspective, making a long-term relationships work takes dedication and compromise - deciding what you want and then sticking to it. Love is important, but secondary. Of course there are limits, but deciding that you're going to commit to a relationship does more toward making you satisfied in the relationship than love. Love(the eight month kind) comes and goes and in a relationship sometimes all you have to hang on to is your decision to hang on. That decision will make him "The One" more than anything else.

Sorry, not completely on topic, I know. Just like to blabber."

Now, just try telling this to the people I date.  My relationships tend to last around 8 months.  :-P

Inter-People Communication

I watched season 1 of The Big Bang Theory this weekend.  Every episode.  That should prove sufficient nerdiness warning for this post!

In computer science there's this idea of inter-process communication, and a common method of accomplishing this is this other idea of message passing.  Two different models of message passing are synchronous and asynchronous systems.

Synchronous systems require an acknowledgment before sending out the next message.  Asynchronous systems don't care, just send the message!

I think dating usually works synchronously, although there are times when communication is asynchronous.  I don't know about you, but those asynchronous points in communication cause a great deal of anxiety for me, mostly because I'm not sure if the message was received or not.  I think guys have a similar problem; I read in a book somewhere that guys like getting an acknowledgment after a date that it went well.  Not necessarily to set up the next date, but just to know that the lady had a good time.  After experimenting with this a little bit, I've noticed that a quick text the day after a date will improve the odds that the guy will set up the next date quickly, by a factor of several days.

Quite obviously there is no way I'll be able to get social norms in dating to adhere to any kind of communication protocol (although I theorize that if we did have some sort of protocol we'd have a lot fewer misunderstandings).  And I think that neither synchronous nor asynchronous message passing will provide an ideal solution that will enhance early-dating-communication while maintaining current social norms.  But I do think some of the principles can apply successfully.

Say Bob wants to take Alice on a date, yet will be out of town next week.  He doesn't want his window of being able to contact Alice to close, so he has to contact her before he leaves town.  Given current social convention, Alice is free to respond any time while Bob is out of town, although if she's very interested in Bob, sooner is better than later.

But now Alice has to wait until Bob gets back!  And even if Bob has access to his communications devices (because let's face it, who doesn't have their cell phone with them most of the time?), social convention dictates that Bob wait until he returns before he contacts Alice with the details of their date.  This waiting causes a lot of anxiety for Alice, even though she already knows that Bob will probably contact her.  If Bob sent a quick acknowledgment with a message that he'll contact her when he's back in town, Alice would have no need to be concerned.  Or maybe Alice is just an neurotic.

Or maybe Alice would be so busy with her own life that she'd forget about Bob being out of town, and when Bob returned and contacted Alice, his window of opportunity on dating Alice would have closed (happened to me!).

Here's another example.  Say Bob and Alice go out on their date.  They have a good time, but Alice waits patiently for Bob to contact her for the second date.  According to social convention, Bob must wait several days before contacting Alice again, but during that time doesn't really know if Alice had a good time or not.  Bob stresses for several days waiting for the requisite time to pass.  If Alice sent a message to Bob the next day saying she had a nice time, then Bob's anxiety is relieved.  Or maybe Bob is a neurotic. (This maps to the anecdote I mentioned earlier)

At any rate, dating is very stressful for everyone involved.  If we were all better communicators (or selective mind readers), things might go much more smoothly.

Skinny Jeans

I'm getting "me" back.  Not just getting "me" back, but really hanging on to the "me" I have.  There was the guy from the internet, the guy from my department, the guy from the other department, and the guy from the parking lot.  Within a span of 24 hours I simultaneously lost interest in all of them (the guy from my department is, let's say, one of those people who you wish would permanently bother someone else), mostly because I felt too exhausted to get involved with or deal with any of them.  Even though I have a lot of free time now to sit, navel gaze, and watch Netflix and YouTube all evening, I prefer it to whatever torture the dating world has dreamed up for me.  I would rather have all of "me" than share myself with any fellow who is unwilling to share his half.  And for me right now, I don't even think half would be nearly enough for me.
This morning, when I was dressing myself for the day, I pulled a pair of my fabled skinny jeans from the closet.  The ones I saved for when I lost enough weight that I'd have my "beach body" back from last year.  The ones that made me feel the sexiest and empowered.  Miraculously enough, they fit!  Not fit perfectly, but comfortably enough I could wear them and not look like an overstuffed bratwurst sausage.
I wonder what else will fit when I have more of myself to keep.

Where The Cute Girls Are

I've had two married men independently tell me the same thing, so I'm thinking it must at least be true among the men I know at work.  I'm now going to share their secret with the world, but only because I find it so hilarious.

Men scope out and keep a map (either in their heads or written down somewhere) of where all the hot girls at work sit.

I don't even know where the hot guys at work sit (Someone please tell me there are hot guys at my work!)!

And I thought women were the only ones who plot.

Movie Review - Robin Hood

Say what you will, I kind of liked the Ridley Scott take on the Robin Hood myth.  I would have much preferred the original conception of the film, which was to have the Sheriff of Nottingham be the protagonist (played by Russell Crowe), Robin Hood be the antagonist, and Maid Marion be the third side of the love triangle between the two.  Somewhere in the middle of development the plot changed to having Crowe play both the Sheriff and Robin Hood, and finally they decided to go with a prequel of the original Robin Hood tale.  Most of the film's faults could probably originated in the many script rewrites.

While not as good as Gladiator, the film is not awful and will probably improve dramatically if Scott gets to release a director's cut on DVD (or is it BluRay?).  The acting is superb, even though Crowe's accent is all over the UK, and the fighting scenes are well-shot, although there are not nearly enough guerrilla fighting scenes that I feel should be in a Robin Hood film.  Then again, if it was just another hash on what's been done many, many times before, the whole thing would have been boring, wouldn't it?

Cate Blanchett and Russell Crowe have great chemistry together.  It's not an overt romance, and it's played delightfully.  As much of a cad as Crowe is, I'm still charmed whenever his eyes are lighted just-so and he smiles with his self-satisfied grin that he's done something nice to win the lady over.  And let's face it, the great favor he does for Marion *was* pretty amazing.  Excepting the last battle, Cate Blanchett perfectly nails her updated version of Marion.  Maybe it's because I'm getting older now, but I really wish Hollywood would just let women be women.  I'm all for female empowerment, but that doesn't necessarily translate to having a token woman fight alongside the guys.  I thought Marion's character was perfectly empowered for a woman of her time and situation.

Besides the "Marion does Joan-of-Arc" thread, the other thing I was fairly unhappy about was including Robin Hood in with the signing of the Magna Carta.  It felt a bit reaching and I'm certain most American viewers don't even know what the Magna Carta is, let alone its' significance in history.  I'm not quite sure how one would re-cut the film to minimize these scenes, as it's an fairly integrated subplot.

I did like how Robin Hood ends up in Nottingham to begin with, as it satisfactorily explains why the original stories have Robin with both peasant and noble roots.  The antagonist Godfrey is far more scary and dangerous than the Sheriff of Nottingham, and if they do make a sequel to this film, it will be hard to feel satisfied running around Nottingham when Robin and his men have fought off the French army on the shores of England.

While the film is all right and worth a viewing, it's probably all right to wait until you can rent it.  I would have much preferred seeing a film shot with the original version of the script, as it would have been ambitious and interesting without turning our protagonist into the Savior of England.

Also, here is a well-balanced review that I like.

Garden Update, Part Two

After I did my garden update yesterday I went to Home Depot and saw they had ARTICHOKE plants in stock.  Weeks ago my parents sent me these three Grow Boxes (Self Watering Containers that are supposed to be the best - and most expensive - you can buy; lots of people make their own though) that I hadn't yet planted with stuff.

Garden Update

Here's another garden update!
I've been meaning to do this for a while; I guess it's been around three weeks since my last update. I have lots of lettuce sprouts! You can see the rose has put out some new branches, and the Early Girl is getting tall!

No Kids?

Today is "Bring Your Child To Work Day" at my workplace.

This morning when I walked in, both of the guards (the one in the parking lot, and the one at the building), both asked, "No kids?"

Geez, I didn't think I looked *that* old. When I said that I was single and had no kids, both guards seemed embarrassed. I kind of thought it was funny.

Maybe I gotta start wearing my hair down at work or something!

Garden Update

Am I way in over my head?
I am running out of room for containers!
I cut off the Peace rose buds when I saw them infested with aphids one afternoon. Not a ladybug in sight. The rose hasn't been putting out new leaves or anything like that, so I decided to help it focus on growing roots. I didn't really want to see what an aphid-infested bloom looked like, anyway.

I finally caged my tomatoes! The Early Girl is growing like a weed; as tall as the rose is. The Better Boys have finally figured out how to grow up and have started to put out leaves almost as prolifically as the Early Girl.
I added a jalapeno pepper and a patio tomato today. The Patio is supposed to be a cherry tomato. So we'll see. I also added a white carnation today too; it was horribly root-bound and I thought I could try dividing the plant. I was horrified to discover it was one plant! So I hope it survives. I wanted to use the pot that came with the miniature rose my parents gave me for my birthday, but when I tried to pour out some rainwater it slipped out of my hand and broke. Thankfully it was in clean pieces, so I'm going to try to epoxy the thing back together this weekend. Then it can serve as a water catcher for one of the carnations (if either of them make it)

My herbs are doing well; you can see I gave the chives a haircut (for the mashed taters I made earlier this week). I think the bottom herbs are getting a bit waterlogged though; the Thai Basil is still unhappy and you can see that some of the chives are yellowing. So I'm going to cut back and just water once a week and see how they do.
I started some mesclun seeds today; that's what the plastic is covering over the one pot. After they've sprouted I'll pull the plastic off. The Lobelia seeds haven't sprouted yet so I'm not sure what went wrong there. I've kind of given up on that idea though.

What else? The strawberries are really taking off too; the flowers that were there a couple weeks ago are now baby strawberries, and there are lots of other blooms and baby strawberries on their way as well.

More Gardening Links

UC Davis has this great list of gardening articles. I've noted my favorites.

Expert Urban Gardener - 218 pages (I haven't read the whole thing yet) of gardening info. Lots of scientific stuff in this one.

Grow Vegetables in Containers - Basic gardening info, but has a container depth guide.

Trace Elements and Urban Elements - Information on Urban Gardening. Good points on growing in containers to avoid stuff like lead and cadmium that is in the soil.

What to Grow in Containers - Nice graph on what to grow, in what size container, and how much sun said plants need.

Delicious, Delicious Mashed Potatoes

Mashed potatoes is one of my favorite comfort foods. Okay, anything with potatoes, because when you combine them with fat (in the form of real butter), you get the perfect triage of starch, salt, and fat that makes for supreme bad-for-you deliciousness.

Francis Lam (who is fast becoming my favorite food author) just wrote an article on Salon covering the mashed potato, and his technique of preparing them.

I like to make mine by hand with a masher, and I leave the skins on. I use real butter (but some of the comments suggest olive oil, which I will definitely try) and milk. I usually cook a clove of garlic with the potatoes, and now that I have fresh chives from my garden I can add those in too.

Some of the other comments suggest a dash of nutmeg, which sounds interesting and I'd like to try that too, but I'm not so sure how well that will go with garlic.

Garden Update

I transplanted the Peace rose today, as well as a pepper plant from Home Depot and a rose my parents sent me for my birthday. I also fertilized all the plants that I didn't transplant today, using Miracle Gro's Shake 'n' Feed plant food. It comes in a smaller shaker jar than the one in the link. I just read the FAQ on the product and it says not to use it for container plants. Oops. If anyone has any helpful gardening feedback they can give to me, I'd sure appreciate it!

On the left is the rose; I planted Lobelia seeds around the edge of the container. On the top right is the Early Girl and on the bottom right are Better Boys I planted from seed. I need to get tomato cages for these soon. These are all 7 gallon containers. You can get them at Home Depot for around $10.

The Early Girl tomato and the California Pepper I bought from Home Depot both have flowers on them. The strawberries have lots of flowers on them and I'm hoping I'll get to eat some fresh strawberries in May!

Movie Review - Clash of the Titans (2010)

This update of the 1981 cult classic isn't bad when taken at face value. I'm honestly not sure exactly what all the critic hate is about. The original isn't exactly a gem, and already runs fast-and-loose with Greek myth.

I did take the critics' warning and shyed away from the 3-D theaters, since that seems where the bulk of the hate is centered. The film was intended as a 2-D picture, and the rushed up-conversion probably won't be worth your extra $5.

In all, I really enjoyed Clash of the Titans, which goes into the same campy/cheesy guilty pleasure bucket that films such as 300 belong to. Outside of the Kraken, I really liked all of the CGI character designs, my favorites being the Pegasus and Medusa. They really made horses fly, and it's absolutely fantastic. (I want one! My birthday is next week - can I have one for my birthday please?) The animators and character designers for Medusa really took the essence of her myth and brought it to the screen. She is both beautiful and hideous.

The throne room at Olympus is updated in several ways; the Greek stage human clay figurines "play" on has been converted into a satellite's view of the ground in the middle of the throne room, complete with cloud cover and water features. The clay figurines remain, but I didn't feel it was as hokey in this incarnation.

As much as people like to give Sam Worthington a hard time, I like his Perseus better. He's not nearly as silly Harry Hamlin's insipid version. I am both intrigued and annoyed with Gemma Arterton's Io. She's beautiful, we get that already. Using her as an expositionary device just makes her acting grating to watch (I can't imagine she'll be any better in Prince of Persia, where she plays a similar role). She does have the cheesiest line in the film, for whatever that's worth.

For fans of the original, Bebo is in the new film.

If you want to go see something fun and a bit mindless, I'd say this is a good film for that. It's definitely enjoyable if you don't expect it to be the next best thing to come out of Hollywood. Remember it's a remake of a cheesy flick, and it runs fast and loose with Greek myth. But then again, myths have changed to suit the teller's needs (one of the reasons so many versions of the "canon" myths exist). Buy popcorn and watch this from the back of the theater. And go see it in 2-D.

Container Garden

I've decided to start a container garden this year, as my patio gets just enough light to get "stuff" to grow. I had started some stuff from seed, but only the tomatoes and peppers made it.

I planted a strawberry pot with lots of herbs, and another strawberry pot with strawberries. I have an Early Girl tomato that I bought from Home Depot, as I don't have faith in my tomatoes that I planted. I also bought another pepper plant, so I think I'll be making a lot of fajitas, chili, sloppy joes, and stuffed peppers with all the peppers I'll be harvesting.

My favorite roses are the Peace rose, and I bought one to plant. My track record with miniature roses is an across-the-board failure though, so we'll see what happens. I also bought a packet of Crystal Palace Lobelia to plant under the rose; I think it will make it look really nice.

I hope this experiment turns out well. If the strawberries don't last through the year I'll probably try alpine strawberries next year in the strawberry pot. I tried some years ago when I was in Amsterdam and thought they were delightful.

Here are some container garden resources:

Container Vegetable Gardening - from Ohio State University
Vegetable Gardening in Containers - from Texas A&M (pdf)

Texting While Socializing

I saw this article on Slate and thought it would be interesting for discussion. (Is it just me, or are Slate and Salon hit-or-miss these days? Then again, I feel my blog is sometimes hit-or-miss, so I guess I shouldn't complain)

I was on a 2nd date once in an outdoor concert. My date seemed like a nice guy but I was bored to tears by him. I had a comrade text me several times about the date, and when I mentioned how awful it was turning out my comrade offered to call me with an "emergency" so I could leave. I didn't want to do that so I grit my teeth and waited the date out.

If I was genuinely interested in the guy I wouldn't have been texting my buddy. Then again, someone told me afterwards that if I was bored to tears then the guy deserved to have the girl be distracted/pulled away by other things. I'm not so sure I agree with that.

When I'm casually with someone I will answer phone calls and texts unless we are actively in the middle of a conversation. But if I'm just getting to know someone I like to give them my full attention.

It's Not Supposed to Be a Race. . . . .

This whole Life thing isn't supposed to be a race, right? We're supposed to muddle through this whole thing and hopefully we come out at the end with whatever we put into our lives.

Yet I feel simultaneously ahead and behind. More behind than ahead.

The person I think of as my ex from college is getting married in May. The relationship didn't work out for a lot of reasons; mainly I think we were just young and ultimately had incompatible world views. We both did a lot of ugly stuff to each other. So it goes.

He bought a house and has a dog. He's getting married already. I didn't "lose" because he wasn't right for me but I feel like he's "winning".

It's easy to focus on all the stuff that I don't have. I don't have a house of my own. I don't have a dog. I don't have enough time to do all of the things I want to get done in the day.

I try to tell myself that it's better that things worked out the way they did. I'm too young to get married anyway; I'm working on a higher degree and don't have the time to put into a live-in relationship. I try to tell myself that I think I'm prettier than the other girl, although in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter. At. All. I try to tell myself that neither of them has completed a marathon and neither of them works for The Man I work for. (Even if The Man gets me down some days, I think the deal I have with The Man is pretty good.) I'm fairly certain that I make more money than he does, or that I at least started out making more money than he does. I try to tell myself that it's hard to make it in L.A. and that if I was living in Sacramento making the money I do here I could easily afford to buy a house of my own.

Yet all of that feels hollow. It feels the weight of what I've gained since we parted is less than the weight of what he's gained. I feel like it should be even. It should be fair.

I try to tell myself that most married people are miserable, that many first marriages end in divorce. On the other hand I tell myself it's a good thing he found someone who is compatible with him. Someone who is a little older and has the compatible brokenness to deal with his mother issues I could never handle. It's a good thing they look happy together.

He told me once that he thought I'd never marry. He blamed our relationship's failure on me.

This whole mess was so long ago and yet I still feel "stuff" about it. I don't want to be the woman marrying him but I wish there was someone out there who wanted to marry me.

It's not supposed to be a race but I still feel like he won. Shit. I hopefully have at least 3/4 of my life to live and already feel like he won.

It's not supposed to be a race. Why do I feel like I lost?

Recipe: Szechuan Chicken & Potatoes

I honestly have no idea what this recipe is really called.

When I was in college, my favorite math professor married a woman from Chengdu, in China. Wow that lady can cook. She is also very sweet and kind. My professor picked good. :)

When I was fortunate enough to be invited over for dinner, she would make the most fantastic dishes. I saw her cook once and tried to pay attention so I could replicate the dishes later. This was one of the most delicious she made. Warning: this totally clears your sinuses.

Skinless, boneless chicken, cubed (I use about 1/2 - 1 chicken breast per serving)
Potato, cubed (about a 1:1 ratio of potato to chicken)
Salt to taste
Szechuan red pepper to taste
Chopped green onion (just the greens, and I don't know how much. Maybe 1/2 stalk per serving)
Chopped cilantro (I have no idea exactly how much, but it's a lot. Maybe a half bunch for two servings.)

Boil a small amount of water and boil the potato cubes until they are cooked, about 5 to 10 minutes. Drain.
Heat up a wok and put some oil in it.
Stir fry the chicken until cooked, then add the cooked potato, salt and red pepper.
Stir fry a minute or two to get the flavors to mingle, then add the chopped green onion and cilantro and stir fry some more. The cilantro will wilt a bit, and then you will know it's done.

Eat with rice.

Here is a hint; if you have kitchen shears you can just hold the stalks of cilantro over the wok and snip away.

Restaurant Review: Bonjour French Pastry

This is a "Japanese French" -style bakery, so they have lots of delicious pastries in traditional and traditionally Asian flavors (like green tea and red bean).

The servers there were really nice, and the decor is very "Asian cute" in a French style. If you have some better term for Asian-French fusion please let me know.

The cakes are pretty yummy and normally sized (as opposed to the steroid-sized anything you might find at an American bakery), and the ingredients tasted fresh.

They don't accept credit cards here, so make sure to bring cash.

Bonjour French Pastry
18222 S. Western Ave.
Gardena, CA 90248
(310) 323-1468

The Women Men Don't See

I have a deep love for really good science fiction. The kind that makes you look at our world in a new perspective and say, "huh." (As opposed to "huh?") I have a deep love for the spirit of Star Trek because of this (which is now a mere shade of what it once was).

I read Slashdot fairly regularly. One story posted quite a while ago was a question asking the Slashdot readers what would be appropriate and belong in a high school-level science fiction literature class. I can't seem to find the link now, but someone posted a link to a syllabus of a college-level course which included the James Tiptree short story "The Women Men Don't See". The title alone fascinated me and I was compelled to search it out. You can buy a James Tiptree anthology on B&N here or read the story online here. (If you get the anthology I recommend looking up "Houston, Houston, Do You Read?")

Go read it. It's not long. I could spoil the pivotal scene for you, as several bloggers have done, but you should have the joy and delight of reading it yourself.

I've asked several men if they would go on a one-way mission to colonize Mars, to be a part of history. Almost all of them have said no. The one exception that I can remember said that if the mission was something like Total Recall he would go. Why not? Men are happy here. Comfy. There's nothing to compel most men to find a new life.

And women? If I could go to Mars to start life on a new world why not? Why not try for something better than what we have today, and have a pivotal role in building it? Why not give the world a reason to remember my name (3:15 in this clip)?

Rose Parade Preview

Happy New Year!

Tonight my boyfriend and I wandered around the staging area for the Rose Parade floats.

My favorite floats were sponsored by the city of Torrance and the Ronald McDonald house.

The Ronald McDonald House float was space-themed.

City of Torrance float. I really liked it because of all the birds and the "greenhouse look" to it.

I can't remember who sponsored this float, but it's a tribute to the Tuskegee Airmen of WWII.

Honda float. It's a ship piloted by their Asimov robot.

Taiwan's float, sponsored by China Airlines

Here's a start to a brand new year!