What Else He Shaves

I'm starting to think I must *really* suck at relationships.  They fail when I feed them with much love and affection, they fail when I feed less love and affection.  They fail when I try too hard.  They fail when I give up trying.  What?  What is it?  Why can I get it to work?

I'm a bit lost that people say women have so much power in relationships, because I just am not seeing that at all.  I don't think I'm ever going to get married to that guy who's the perfect teammate for me and have little fat babies.  I'll have fat Shiba Inus instead.  Because the people love just isn't working for me.  It's tragic and I'm frustrated and I honestly cannot figure out what I'm doing wrong.  I can suspect, and change the gameplan a little each time I go out with someone new, but it's always, without fail, an epic failure every time.

How is it that I can be so damn smart and yet so dumb with this relationship bullshit?  I mean, the player I knew in college got married, and the jerk who used me to move to South Bay before dumping me has been married for a year and a half already.

Maybe I'm just un-marriable.

Strangely enough I think I'm picking better guys with each iteration, although the last guy (not the current guy) is a bit of an outlier.  Weirdo.

Anyway.  We had this "State of the Relationship" talk the other night. One of the the things that came up was jealousy and opposite-sex friendships.  I thought we had already talked about it, but apparently we didn't really see eye-to-eye on things.  I certainly did not see that I was here and he was way the fuck over there (on that topic, the relationship, etc. etc.).  How'd I miss that?  To tease me at the end of the conversation, he said,

"So who's this guy you went to dinner with the other night?"

"He's a friend from cycling.  He's nice; I got the impression that he wanted it to be a date but I told him beforehand that I had a boyfriend.  He seemed disappointed, poor guy."

"You're not attracted to him?"

"No, not really."

"Why not?"

"Uh (I don't need to look when I'm *with* someone already!  Gee, one guy is hard enough for me to figure out!  What am I gonna do with two!?), I don't know.  He's a cyclist.  He shaves his legs.  That's weird."  (Sorry Don! I had to say something!)

"He shaves his legs huh?  I wonder what else he shaves?!"

"Eew!"