Movie Review - Beowulf

So I watched this new adaptation of the great heroic epic last night. In 3-D. An interesting juxtaposition of the old and the new.

I'm not sure how well it turned out. Visually, there's a lot to be said about the film in 3-D. Spears, flames, arrows, hands, etc. literally pop out at you from the screen. And to see Angelina Jolie dripping with liquid gold is a treat. Not to mention more seductive than ever, even though I was unconvinced that she could basically flick her finger and force kings and heroes to submit to her will.

Maybe I underestimate how easy it is to seduce a man. Especially when the lady in question is offering eternal glory in return for a golden horn.

The motion capture technology has improved somewhat, although I think most of the time the characters look cartoonish and wooden. They don't quite look alive, so there's definitely some uncanny valley effect going on, although not quite as bad as the effect for the Heavy Rain demo.

Regardless, I think I'm much more lenient on this film in regards to "historical accuracy" than I would otherwise be - this is a fairly loose adaptation. I think my leniency is due to the idea that Beowulf is, like Homer's works, an oral tale by tradition, and we humans like to weave yarns. I'm also in favor of anything that raises the general public's awareness of great stories like this.

There are some very thinly-veiled innuendos, and an odd fight scene where Beowulf is running around nude. Not sure what I think about that, although they did give Ray Winstone some killer abs ala 300 fame.

There are some pretty chewed-over ideas that they've brought to the film. Basically, they've made Beowulf an unreliable narrator for sake of glory. That kind of tarnishes it a bit, don't you think? I like the ideas they used for the dragon as well (even if it's a pretty run-of-the-mill dragon). I think my favorite ideas they used were for Grendal's Mother. There's a lot to be explored with her, I think.

A few ideas that I liked (or extrapolated) that they used for Grendal's Mother:
1) She is this seemingly immortal supernatural being. I think, in the context of this film, she represents man's internal struggle against temptation and desire for glory. The three men she seduces fail their saving throws vs. seduction. Doesn't say much for humanity, does it?
2) The offspring from her efforts at seduction I think represent some hidden side of the fathers. I'm not sure if that was something the director had in mind when he made the film, but I think it's something interesting to talk about. I don't want to give too much away, even though it's pretty obvious if you've read some interviews.
3) Finally I think you have this really interesting concept of male vs. female going on here. In this film, Grendal's Mother is, without a doubt, the strongest character in the entire movie. She's a foil to God and to Odin, because she makes an already famous name legendary. Without her guarantee, it's possible Beowulf would not have become the great hero.

So there you have it: an intellectual excuse to go see a pretty standard action film, even with the plot holes.

One of My Favorite Monologues

Shylock's "Do we not bleed?" monologue, from Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice (Act III, Scene I):

He hath disgraced me, and hindered me half a million; laughed at my losses,
mocked at my gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my
bargains, cooled my friends, heated mine
enemies; and what's his reason? I am a Jew.

Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs,
dimensions, senses, affections, passions?

Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject
to the same diseases, healed by the same means,
warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is?

If you prick us, do we not bleed?
if you tickle us, do we not laugh?
If you poison us, do we not die?

And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?
If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that.
If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility?
Revenge. If a Christian wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be by
Christian example? Why, revenge. The villany you
teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I
will better the instruction.

Harry Potter Spoilers

The Twisted Economics of Harry Potter

Please don't take my comments the wrong way; I think Ms. Rowling has created an fascinating world and a great story. My main complaint with her is that she's unnecessarily verbose.

I predict that soon after the last Harry Potter movie is released that poor Harry and company will be dropped for the next new and enchanting book or film. Look at the Lord of the Rings trilogy: soon after the Return of the King Extended Edition was released to DVD people (meaning the general public) stopped talking about it.

But there are those that think, "Gee, this Harry Potter mania is going to last forever."

No, it's not. Nothing is permanent in this world but change. I highly doubt that Harry Potter will become a classic (we'll see in 50 years) as much as a novelty. As far as children's literature is concerned, there are better tomes out there.

Let the flaming begin.

Contradiction

I just found out today that ETS isn't going to change the GRE format this year. The news is almost two months old.

I think that was the main reason I was dragging my feet on prepping for it - I didn't really want to take the test under the new format, and I put my head into the sand hoping I could deal with the problem of having to take the GRE later. Now I can sign up before June 30 (when they'll probably raise the rates) and take the test in early Fall or late Summer, and then do some serious prep work.

My best friend in L.A. just kicked some serious ass on the GRE. I don't think you could ask for a better score. She's been coaxing me to take it; I really need to bite the bullet and do it.

I've been ruminating a lot on people and the unjustness of life in general. Why do some people live charmed lives and why others fail? It's really painful to think about. What did certain someones do to deserve to be born in wealthy families, to have not a monetary care in the world, and do and get everything their heart desires without consequence? It's very unjust. What did still others do to deserve to live in poverty their entire lives, no matter how hard they try to do everything right? Why some get the internships and others don't, why some get to go to MIT on full scholarships. Why some get married to their high school sweethearts and others are doomed to hop from short relationship to short relationship, chipping away at whatever heart they have left to give to someone.

These things are enough to keep me up at night.

Yes, I'm quite jealous, even though I've lived a fortunate life.

Is hope the cure for all injustices? Shakespeare thought love was (Sonnet 29):

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,

I all alone beweep my outcast state

And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries

And look upon myself and curse my fate,

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,

Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,

Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,

With what I most enjoy contented least;

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,

Haply I think on thee, and then my state,

Like to the lark at break of day arising

From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;

For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings

That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

I can hope to get a good enough score that I can choose which school to earn my Master's from. I can hope that I won't need to ever endure another breakup again. I can hope that it won't be difficult for me to pick up the piano again, or that I'll gain a mastery of time management skills and be able to accomplish a dozen things at once. I can hope that I'll never have to worry about making rent or feeding myself. I can hope my jeep will get me through one more day of commuting.

I hope because at least 60% of what happens to you in life is due to the circumstances you were born in, and the rest is due to chance. Okay, I made that statement up, but prove me wrong.

British Literature Final Woes

There's this concept about the whole college student-teacher relationship that seems to be overlooked in my British Literature course. The whole thing where the student is paying for the professor to provide some instruction and insight on the course material.

I don't have a personal problem with my professor. I've chatted with her outside of class, and she seems like a nice enough gal.

I have a professional problem with her. She's done nothing to further my knowledge of British Literature and constantly expounds on her lack of knowledge of the course (granted, she's a part time writing prof taking over because the prof who usually teaches the course is on sabbatical).

This is what she dreams up for the final:

• We, individually, have to dream up 10 essay questions related to what we've read and some topic or element of literature that comes up in Brit. Lit.
• Underline the thesis of our answers to our questions
• Put in quotes the works we're using in our answers
• Circle where we've noted the story's setting
• Bracket supporting details
• Single space the document (I've NEVER come across a professor -especially writing professor- who prefers single spaced documents. This woman is out of her gourd.)
• Let's not forget she also mentioned that she's not going to answer any questions during the last three days of class. W.T.F.?!?!? NOT answer questions???? I've never known a prof. to not answer questions, even right before an exam.

Someone please tell me how this will be a fair, accurate, objective evaluation of what I know about British Literature. Let's not forget the American taxpayer is helping me pay for this insanity.

I should go do some more Christmas shopping. Retail therapy can be a bitch, though. Just shoot me now and put me out of my misery.

Mein Liebling, College Students Are So Retarded

There's this girl in my British Literature class who is so stupid.

I don't mind when people come up with simple discussion questions, because at least they read the damn text we were supposed to read and put some thought into it.

But this girl, takes a line out of the text and takes it completely out of context. No, worse than taking it out of context. Brings in such manure that doesn't have anything to do with the text we're discussing.

And I call her on her bullshit, and she gets mad at me for doing so. And I get mad because she's so stupid she can't see beyond her retardedness. My favourite C.S. prof. described the type of person she is in three points:

They think they're profound when they are not.
They come up with something that sounds profound but it's not.
They don't understand that their profoundness is bullshit, and defend the lack of their profoundness.

Here is an example of what she brings to class, lifted straight from today.

We're reading "Sir Gawain and the Green Knight", and her discussion is "what is the significance of the Round Table in the text?" My first thought is, there isn't any, and page to the one line the Round Table is mentioned: (line 38-39 for those who have the poem)

"Many good knights and gay his guests were there,
Arrayed of the Round Table rightful brothers,"

There's a note in our text for line 39, which states: "According to legend, Merlin made the Round Table after a dispute broke out among Arthur's knights about precedence: it seated one hundred knights. The table described in the poem is not round." (emphasis my own)

And I mention that the Round Table isn't even in the story, that the line is describing who is at this damn party (you could say "Arthur's Knights", but then conceivably Arthur had many more knights at his disposal than those who sat at the Round Table), and the story takes place before the Round Table is even made. She goes over to where I'm seated, points out the line in my book and the note, and says, "There it is. It's right there." And I say, "I know it's right there, but the Round Table isn't even there! There's no significance because it doesn't exist at that point in time!" And then our professor asks me a question about my point, the girl sits down and whispers with her friends and then they giggle. So I assume they're talking about me, but at this point I don't really care. If she wants to stay stupid she can go right ahead.

Another example is her second discussion of "Beowulf"; the lines in question are 1605-1611:

"Meanwhile, the sword
began to wilt into gory icicles
to slather and thaw. It was a wonderful thing,
the way it all melted as ice melts
when the Father eases the fetters off the frost
and unfavels the water-ropes, He who wields power
over time and tide: He is the true Lord."

She tries to pull the idea that God melted the sword, which immediately smells of bullshit to me, because the whole point is that Grendel's mother's blood is so vile and nasty it melts the blade. I don't say anything, because I skimmed this section of the poem. Later, I go home and read lines 1612-1618:

"The Geat captain saw treasure in abundance
but carried no spoils from those quarters
except for the head and the inlaid hilt
embossed with jewels; its blade had melted
and the scrollwork on it burned, so scalding was the blood
of the poisonous fiend who had perished there."

Did she even read "Beowulf"? My first impression is: No.

By the way, I think my friend Dan (who is also in the course) will be taking bets when I finally kick her teeth in.

In the Middle of the Night

I hate it when you wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep.

Supposedly, I'm supposed to dream up a "discussion question" regarding what I've read of Beowulf for my class tomorrow. Except, I'm not impressed with the poem. But this is what I've come up with:

What is the significance of Grendel attacking Heorot?
"The great hall was the community meeting place in Norse culture. In attacking the hall, Grendel attacks Nordic civilization."

Now, if you're in my class, don't steal this and turn it in for yourself. I'll find out who you are, hunt you down and introduce you to my boots. They're hungry for some action.

Maybe I've got the wanderlust or something, because I never seem happy staying in one place for too long. The idea of being at Tech for another whole year of school is just so depressing and demoralizing. I just feel like I've been in Butte too long, that the students are too predictible, and some of the retardedness that goes on is utterly uninteresting and a waste of my time. If I didn't know that something was going to be retarded, I have the opportunity to be disappointed. But now that I know things will be stupid in advance I feel like there's no point in actually going.

For example, today I went to this Veteran's benefits meeting, because I'm leeching off of my Dad's educational VA benefits, and I got a letter in the mail saying I had to go. I went to this last year, and couldn't imagine what they could dream up this year that was so important as to call a "mandatory meeting". And they fed us at this "barbeque", which was really the SUB's attempt at Cajun cooking. Seafood from Montana Tech Food Service is usually bad to begin with, but catered seafood from Montana Tech was. . .interesting. They had oysters on the half-shell, which I was impressed with, even though I felt sick to the stomach after eating them. And I have a feeling that the gumbo they served isn't like the gumbo that you would get in New Orleans.

I did see several people I know at the "barbeque", and mentioned to my favorite professor that the Veteran's meeting was going to be a disappointing waste of my time. And Prof. Handley said, "As you get older, people tend to come up with new things to drain your time" (or something like that), which I felt was true. I also ran into one of the counselors at Tech, who I've gotten to know in passing over the years. And he asked me how I was, and how I was doing. When I said, "I'm doing OK", he sat down and talked with me for a few minutes, and invited me to stop by his office. Maybe he's just doing his job, but it's rare that someone asks you how you're doing and really care about the answer.