Why I Run

I'm running my first marathon in a few short days. I'm undertrained, but I know I can at least walk the distance. I will probably be able to run at least half the distance, and I don't expect my time to be less than 5 hours. I've never claimed to be a fast runner.

I've been a bundle of nervous energy, excitement, and anxiousness. I don't doubt that these feelings will only intensify in the time between now and the start time.

Running this marathon has been a goal of mine for such a long time. Whenever people ask me why, and I try to explain it to them, some of them get it, and others don't. I had several people chew me out that I *shouldn't* have this as a goal, and that my purpose for doing it was silly and unnecessary.

A few years ago, I was a Marine Officer Candidate for a few short days. But what a glorious few days that was for me. It was my dream to become a Marine Intelligence Officer, a dream I fostered and held dearly for 15 months. 8 weeks before I was to ship out, I rolled my ankle during an OCS prep weekend. 4 weeks later, I contracted a cold that turned into a sinus infection. I was not physically ready to go the day I shipped out. I failed the initial physical fitness test (PFT) on the run and my dream ended before it even had a chance to get started. A star winked out for me that day.

Could I have tried to apply to OCS again? Sure, but I would have needed a perfect score on the PFT, something I knew I could not obtain on my own.

I had never failed anything I had wanted like that in my entire life. I was personally devastated.

Life has since taken me on a different path, one that most would argue has been for the better. But I still felt that some lost part of me lay discarded somewhere in Virginia. An idea was born.

What better way to regain face than to run the Marine Corps Marathon? Since I had fallen out on the run, which was a measly 3 miles, what better way to tell the Marines that they had made a mistake if I could go back and traverse 26.2 miles on their turf, not far from where I fell out of the PFT?

I'm no longer bitter or disappointed with the way things turned out, although I do think of it from time to time and wonder how my life might have turned out. And my experience with the Marine Corps has changed my life for the better. Through the Marine Corps I was introduced to running. Were it not for the lessons I learned while running and for having running as a hobby I would not have had the resilience to bounce back as well as I did earlier this year. I am much healthier today than I was then. So I have the Corps to thank for that.

Is it a silly goal? Perhaps. But it is my goal and if I drop out of it now, what does that say about me?