Contradiction

I just found out today that ETS isn't going to change the GRE format this year. The news is almost two months old.

I think that was the main reason I was dragging my feet on prepping for it - I didn't really want to take the test under the new format, and I put my head into the sand hoping I could deal with the problem of having to take the GRE later. Now I can sign up before June 30 (when they'll probably raise the rates) and take the test in early Fall or late Summer, and then do some serious prep work.

My best friend in L.A. just kicked some serious ass on the GRE. I don't think you could ask for a better score. She's been coaxing me to take it; I really need to bite the bullet and do it.

I've been ruminating a lot on people and the unjustness of life in general. Why do some people live charmed lives and why others fail? It's really painful to think about. What did certain someones do to deserve to be born in wealthy families, to have not a monetary care in the world, and do and get everything their heart desires without consequence? It's very unjust. What did still others do to deserve to live in poverty their entire lives, no matter how hard they try to do everything right? Why some get the internships and others don't, why some get to go to MIT on full scholarships. Why some get married to their high school sweethearts and others are doomed to hop from short relationship to short relationship, chipping away at whatever heart they have left to give to someone.

These things are enough to keep me up at night.

Yes, I'm quite jealous, even though I've lived a fortunate life.

Is hope the cure for all injustices? Shakespeare thought love was (Sonnet 29):

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,

I all alone beweep my outcast state

And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries

And look upon myself and curse my fate,

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,

Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,

Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,

With what I most enjoy contented least;

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,

Haply I think on thee, and then my state,

Like to the lark at break of day arising

From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;

For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings

That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

I can hope to get a good enough score that I can choose which school to earn my Master's from. I can hope that I won't need to ever endure another breakup again. I can hope that it won't be difficult for me to pick up the piano again, or that I'll gain a mastery of time management skills and be able to accomplish a dozen things at once. I can hope that I'll never have to worry about making rent or feeding myself. I can hope my jeep will get me through one more day of commuting.

I hope because at least 60% of what happens to you in life is due to the circumstances you were born in, and the rest is due to chance. Okay, I made that statement up, but prove me wrong.