A friend I went to high school with got married on Monday.
So, congrats to him and his lucky lady.
I received an invitation; they had a nice invitation with a photo of the happy couple. I didn't go because the wedding was in Utah and I didn't want to take the time off to go. Maybe I'm not a good friend, but we weren't really close to begin with anyway.
Weddings cost a lot of money, and all for one night's events. Is it really worth it?
I don't think so.
I mean, wedding consultants have made weddings in the States a very profitable business.
Women grow up thinking that they have some sort of fundamental right to the lavish white ballgown, the flowers, the cake, the guy-in-a-penguin-suit, etc. I feel bad for the fellows whose sweethearts turn into bridezillas. The wedding, which is supposed to be a celebration of marriage and of two people promising to stay together for life, has become some sort of bizzare circus covered in ribbon and marzipan. And the groom, who is one-half of the marriage made that day, is shoved off in the corner somewhere.
It just feels like such a farce.
What about the money wasted on one day of obvious conspicuous consumption? How come that money can't go to fund a nice (nicer?) honeymoon or a down payment on a house/condo (or paying off those all-important student loans!)?
There was a link in my Gmail today for Hello!Lucky Custom Wedding Invitations. These snazzy, simple-looking invitations have been featured in Martha Stewart Weddings. 12 red flashing lights with matching sirens should have gone off in my head.
As an experiment, I picked one of the invitations in the collection and put in some numbers. 100 "Passion Flower" flat invitations in plain envelopes printed in two ink colors cost $835. This doesn't include matching printed envelopes, RSVP cards, thank yous, etc. Just the invites to your gala event.
Who the hell can afford $8.35 for an invitation? Makes me wonder how much they're spending on the wedding & reception sites, flowers, photographer, etc.
This is the price of feeling entitled to be a princess for a day, ladies.
Maybe I'm cheap, maybe I'm broke, maybe I don't feel as entitled as other women, or maybe I like to push the envelope on what's expected of young women in the United States. Maybe I've given up on the stupid social mores of our time.
If I ever get married, I don't want to be a princess for a day. I want to get the damn marriage license signed and have a nice dinner with my sweetheart and closest family and friends. I don't mind shelling out money for a nice dinner with people I know and love.
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5 comments:
Completely agree. Weddings are crazy. I know people who have spent over $35,000 on a wedding and are still paying for it. Mind you, most weddings like that are paid for by the grooms parents, but some parents can't afford it, so the couple to be wed will pay for their own, and go crazy.
There's nothing like starting a happy marriage completely in debt.
My wedding was a typical Utah Mormon experience, in our wards chapel, with our families doing all of the decorations and food. Cheap by comparison, but still think that the whole purpose was for our parents to see their friends and family as we couldn't care less.
/paranoidfr33k
I saw a show on consumerism once. I couple got married and spent more than they could afford on the wedding and honeymoon. So they started out with this big debt not to mention the student loans and credit cards. Then they got into a house they couldn't afford and filled it with stuff they couldn't afford. They each got a new car that they couldn't afford instead of sharing one car. Then when they went shopping, they bought things that divided them. The man a big screen the woman a computer, and then the kid a game system. It divided them as a family as each would go and do his/ her own thing, and they fought over who could get something new. The family fell apart in all of the debt and they got divorced. Then they needed two places to live and two sets of stuff.
There was a lot of truth in it.
I definitely think there's something to a more-zen way of living, although I really enjoy movies and wouldn't think of living without a TV and DVD player. However, I still watch movies on a 13" TV. I'd like to upgrade, but there are other big ticket items that I'd like to get before getting a bigger/better TV.
My dad I think is a little disappointed with my views on weddings. I guess he has some money set aside for me getting hitched. He doesn't seem to understand that I don't want a fairy tale wedding. Maybe it's because when he married my mom they were married by a judge in Taiwan, and they never had a more traditional wedding done. I guess there wasn't a need for it.
Even if I were to placate my dad, I don't think I'd want a wedding done cheaply. Maybe that's not the right word; cheap and tasteless are two different things. I don't think I would mind if my parents wanted to host a reception.
I'm getting ahead of myself here. Do most women have a fantasy wedding in their heads? I used to, but I couldn't care less anymore. I think the relationship is more important than the big party. Even the thought of picking out china and silver are exhausting to me.
Some days I don't think I'm ever going to have the dream marriage I have in my head. I really work at my relationships and give them my best effort, but I always seem to get hurt (or at the very least disappointed) and have to cut or bury or do whatever it is that I do to my heart to get over it.
I like the economy of a 13 inch TV. Plus they usually have good picture. I used to have one on my front room when a bigger TV konked out. Eveyone that came to my house complained bout it.
But we will all have to upgrade soon.
I hope you don't go to Las Vegas to get married.
Ha! I have to find a fellow crazy enough to want a marry me that isn't a freak himself!!!
Besides, getting married on the bridge of the Enterprise would be kind of cool. ;)
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