Car = Sentient Entity?

I'm sure I'm not the first person who has a love affair with their car. A symbiotic relationship between driver and machine. The strange imprinting one makes on steel and fiberglass that transforms an inanimate object into an entity.

I'd like to think I take good care of my car. I never let it run out of gas, I wash it occasionally and dry it with microfiber cloths, and I make sure maintenance is performed on it when it's due. In turn, my car takes me to work, takes me on the road, takes me wherever I ask it to go. The sound system feeds me music and the environmental controls keep me comfortable. In every aspect of this machine, it performs exactly as I expect it to. I know this car.

Last Tuesday when I was driving home from work a guy rear-ended me. It was a craptastic finish to a long and stressful day. I just got it back today. They had to replace the bumper and fix the rear body panel. Even though my car is a late model 2007, apparently it has the body of a 2008 and it took a couple extra days to order the new bumper from the manufacturer. I have the "sport" edition so the bumper has an extra "spoiler" or lip at the bottom of the bumper.

When I picked my car up today, it was my car, and yet it was not my car. There was a rock chip on the bumper that was not there anymore. I felt like I was picking up a stranger. It most definitely was my car, because the scrape on the front bumper was still there, the scuffs in the interior were still there, and the red luck charm that dangles from the rear view mirror still hung where I left it.

After driving around a PT Cruiser (by the way, I know now why so many grannies love that car) for a week, I was so happy to climb into my newly fixed car and drive off. Except it didn't feel right to me. What is going on here? The brakes feel a bit squishier than when I dropped the car off. I guess I'll check the brake fluid level and if it's low I'll add some brake fluid.

I'm sure in a few days I will become reacquainted with my car, and everything will be fine.

Taste the Smug

I saw a Lexus SUV on the road today on my commute to work. Not just any Lexus SUV, this was a hybrid. And the owner wasn't subtle about it. There were two tacky bumper stickers on the cargo door: "Yes, it's a hybrid!" and something similar on the other bumper sticker. Something along the lines of being better than everyone because their car was a hybrid.

You could taste the smug. Seriously. (Full episode here) (By the way, if you're not familiar with South Park, you should be warned these links could be quite offensive)

I'm generally in favor of hybrid cars and alternative fuel technology, but I really have several problems with this.

Firstly, just because I don't drive a hybrid doesn't mean I don't care about the environment or about what my mpg is. I bought the most fuel economic car in my budget, even though it runs completely on gas. There was no way I could afford a hybrid.

Secondly, driving a luxury hybrid with those particular bumper stickers sends the message that, because the driver can afford (or pretend to afford) a car *that* expensive makes them better than everyone who cannot afford such an extravagance.

Thirdly, the above is just rude. It just sends the wrong message, one the driver probably did not intend. Instead of saying, "I drive a hybrid and I think the rest of the world should jump on the bandwagon", it says, "I'm so conceited and insecure that, not only do I have to drive a luxury vehicle to feel better than everyone else, I have to rub it in everyone's face by defacing my new hybrid's styling by putting up these tacky bumper stickers."

Fuel Efficiency

I track the fuel efficiency of my new car online at this website. Partly because I'm incredibly curious as to how efficient my car is with gas, and partly because I'm slightly anal retentive.

I'm doing slightly better than the EPA's MPG estimate, by 2-4 MPG. This makes me happy.

I don't think I'll be able to get 40 miles a gallon in my little car, even though I'd like to think I'm a fairly conservative driver. I just don't think that's possible to do in the city.

Even so, I hope it continues to do better than the EPA estimate, and I hope that I'll be able to consistently get at least 5 MPG better than the estimate some day.

I absolutely love my little car. The reason I haven't gushed on it here is for privacy reasons. (But, for some reason, it's absolutely OK to bare my soul, the garbage in my life? I sense a discrepancy here.) I guess I just don't want any stalkers/crazy people tracking me down. I get enough of those in real life already without adding people from the internet.

User Interface Design Flaw

On my new car I have a keyless entry similar to this one. It's actually kind of ingenious, to have the keyless entry on the key itself instead of on a key fob.

The biggest problem I have with it is that I tend to accidentally press the buttons when I'm just holding the key (or trying to start the car). My suggestion to improve it is to put the buttons on the side of the key, leaving the driver to grip the key in a "normal" way without having to worry if he/she just unlocked all their car doors. The key is big enough that you could fit buttons on the side of the key and I think it would be slightly more intuitive that the current user interface.

Hey. It's just an idea.

The Allure of the Manual Transmission

I feel safe commenting on this, because a close friend of mine and I are in consensus, and the theory must hold some water.

There's something essentially attractive about a man who can drive a stick-shift. Perhaps it's "just a stereotype". The message seems to be "I can drive a manual transmission - I can 'handle' my car", perhaps alluding to the message "I can 'handle' my woman" (not in a bad or misogynistic way!). This is the way my friend describes it. I don't think it's a very satisfactory description of this intangible feeling.

It's a very masculine, "I'm in control of my domain" vibe. It's something I find very attractive.

I don't know any female friends who can drive a stick-shift, so I'm not sure what riding with them might be like.

Of course, this quality has zero correlation with the asshole rating of the driver. Ride at your own risk.

What I Don't Get

I don't understand why people get license plate frames that announce to the world what make/model their car is.

I mean, yes, it matches the car, but don't I already know you drive a Mercedes by looking at the logo on the trunk (I think "boot" is the British term)?

One of those weird things I guess.

Car Shopping

Just call me the Jeep Slayer.

I'm in the market for buying a new car. I think, living in the city, fuel economy and reliability (especially in a car-centric city like L.A.) are paramount.

I've been thinking about the Toyota Yaris. I took a test drive the other day and it wasn't bad; the worst thing I could tell was that the engine doesn't seem to like accelerating at low speeds. From a full stop it really groans to get to 25 MPH. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but that's what it seemed like to me. Since I'm not a speed demon (usually) I don't think that would be a problem for me.

My favorite feature of the Yaris is all the little hiding spots it has. My inner spy just loves the idea that I could have 'secret' hiding places for things like maps, spare keys, etc. Toyota must have had some usability engineers design the interior. While I didn't really care for the climate controls too much, I like that they're designed so if the driver is wearing gloves he or she doesn't have to take the gloves off to fuss with them.

If you're a Yaris owner, I'd love to hear if you've had any problems with your Yaris, or if you think it's the best car you've ever owned, or anything in between. I'd also consider other car recommendations.

Just Call Me The Jeep Slayer

Hmm. So I just totaled my third jeep. That sucks.

You want to know what's worse? The damage on this third jeep was just a missing light and bumper (OK, and a little bit of paint).

Guess I'm in the market for a new car. I'm not quite ready for this, but I guess that's OK. A gas-guzzling jeep really doesn't do too well in the city.

I'm thinking about a Toyota Yaris. I took a test drive of it yesterday, and it's not bad. The only think I really didn't like about it was that the acceleration from a full stop isn't so great. But then again, I'm not doing much accelerating in stop-and-go traffic.

I Hate My Car

The only thing reliable on it is that something is always broken.

I took it to Jiffy Lube today to get an oil change, and a power steering fluid hose broke. Yay!

The guys at Jiffy Lube said I could take it to Midas or Pep Boys and they could fix it for me. Nope! I went to both places and neither were willing to help me. It's a 15 minute job! Easy money!

Guess they didn't want mine. Guess they didn't want any of my business or good word-of-mouth either.

Apparently the Jeep dealership doesn't really want to help me out either. They couldn't give me a quote over the phone, because they "didn't know what was wrong" with it, even though I told them point-blank exactly what's wrong with it.

I hate it when people treat me like I don't know anything about cars.

Good Date - Teamwork

Last night I had a date. The plan wasn't anything too fancy; I was going to drive to his place and watch a movie, then go home at a reasonable hour.

I get all dolled up, get into the jeep, and turn the key. ::churn churn churn grind grind grind click::

I call Dad, "Dad, the car won't start. It makes churning or grinding noises."

"Sounds like the starter; a new one shouldn't be too expensive."

I call my date, "Hey cutie, my car won't start and my dad thinks it's the starter."

"Are you sure? It could be any number of things."

"I know, but I'll guess it's the starter and I need to replace it."

"Do you want me to come over? I'm not great with cars . . ."

"I'm not either, but if you want to come over for emotional support that'll be good."

So, after I changed into something I could get dirty in, and $140 (Actually, $170, minus the core charge) later, my date and I dug out the flashlights and replaced the starter in my jeep. Luckily for us it sits high enough off the ground we didn't need to jack it up.

I also realize this is a short summary; we spent a lot of time looking at my jeep repair manual and then crawling underneath the jeep to look at the real thing. The photos in the manual are taken from all sorts of different angles and don't really help someone as clueless as myself and my date.

Strangely, it didn't take as long to install the new starter as it did to remove the old one. We made a lot of jokes that we should have learned more about car stuff in college, being as we're both engineers. (For Wordpecker, I make more than he does!) We also noticed that we're both terrified of touching car batteries, mostly out of the irrational fear that we'll be magically electrocuted.

Even as disappointing as the night turned out, I think we had a little fun anyway. After all, the whole point was that we spent quality time together. There's something nice about learning you can be a team with someone, and have something positive come out of your efforts.

And there is something so wonderful about turning that key and hearing the engine start.

Please, Call the Men in the White Coats

My jeep broke again. It's leaking coolant. Again. Turns out the part I replaced last time (a y-shaped metal piece that connected coolant hoses and had a temperature sensor on it) decided to unweld a joint. Pour coolant in, and you might as well just pour it on the ground.

Great. This is exactly what I needed to have happen. Like I didn't already have enough to think about. All I wanted was to get lunch! (The real icing on the cake, however, was when the hair clip my mother brought for me from Taiwan decided to break today as well. Fuck.)

As soon as I'm able, I'm going to sell that P.O.S. and get something more reliable.

I just wanted to get lunch and do some homework. Now I get to worry about this too.

All I wanted to do was get lunch for myself and my boyfriend, and because of this I'm not even hungry anymore.

Sometimes I think it would be better if the guys in the white coats took me away. Tech is going to unleash a crazy woman on the general population in a couple weeks.

Jeeps Do Not Make Great Pets

They get near "empty" on the fuel gauge, and you have to feed them (which I've noticed is getting increasingly expensive these days).

They don't like getting up in the morning. Neither do I, but we're talking about jeeps here!

Some mechanical part breaks, and you have to get it fixed or replaced.

And when they get low on antifreeze (for seemingly no apparent reason!), they overheat and you have to put some coolant in them and hope that fixes what ails them.

I know enough about cars to take care of them, but I sincerely hope that a hose hasn't decided to break or leak because I'm not much into fixing that on my own. That's why I try to keep myself surrounded by men who are mechanically inclined.