My new apartment complex has lots of amenities, including a pool and hot tub. Unfortunately for residents, they shoo everyone out of the pool, hot tub, and clubhouse after 10:00 PM.
A group of colorful young professionals hang out in the hot tub at night, and start trickling into the hot tub around 9:00 PM, hence "The 9 O'Clockers". From my limited experience with the group, the ring leader seems to be a guy named Bruce, who happens to have great access to expensive fancy printers for whenever he decides the 9 O'Clockers need to throw a BBQ.
Being a former Navy man, Bruce has a knack for lavishly embellishing any story, no matter how innocent.
----Flashback Begins Here----
The first night I spent in my new apartment was, obviously, moving day. I spent all afternoon waiting for the moving van and then unpacking boxes. Naturally I didn't think to check if the electric water heater was working. So at 10:30 or so, when I tried to take a shower, the water was unnaturally cold.
I didn't think it was a big deal, so I called the front desk answering service and asked if they could have maintenance stop by in the morning to have a look at it. (I was willing to just take a sponge bath with cold water than stand in a freezing shower)
"Are you sure that's OK? I can have the courtesy patrol stop by and see if there's something we can do tonight about that,"
"No, no, it's really OK. I don't think it's a big deal, just have maintenance come by in the morning."
Not five minutes after I hang up the phone, it rings. It's "The Courtesy Patrol" guy (FYI, all the courtesy patrolmen are really LAPD during the day, and they take turns wandering around the apartments at night. Well, a friend did warn me that cops were all perverts.), who wanted to know if it would be all right for him to come over and see if he could look at the water heater for me.
OK, it's not a big deal, but he insists. He comes over, and within 5 minutes drops the fact that he's LAPD (this is supposed to be a good pickup line, right? Because I thought they were supposed to keep quiet on stuff like that). He thinks the problem is that the breaker needs to be reset, and then proceeds to go through my entire apt (closets too!) looking for the breaker box.
We find the breaker box, and of course the switch for the water heater was off.
Myself and the courtesy patrolman chat for a while, he offers to get a bottle of water, coke, or beer (what's with all the men here trying to get me drunk?) for me (as I just had my fridge installed and nothing in it whatsoever), and we go over to his apartment and chat some more. I go home and fall asleep. The patrolman mentioned the 9 O'Clockers, and I thought it might be a nice way to meet new people. End of story, or so I thought.
----Flashback Ends Here----
When I show up to one of the nightly gatherings, everyone wants to know how I found out about the group, what I'm doing in Southern California, etc. And the above story leaks. Bruce takes the opportunity to turn it into a lurid tale that completely twists the facts out of proportion. "Do you want to see my big gun?", "Let's make sure it's loaded", "Hi, it's ______ from the Courtesy Patrol", etc.
Not that I really mind; I did go to an engineering school after all, which did succeed in brainwashing my mind into the gutter. Plus the story is much funnier if you hear Bruce tell it.
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3 comments:
Your flashback made me wonder if they actually shut off all water heater breakers in single women's apartments just so the Courtesy Patrol can come over. It was too suspicious that he called five minutes after you declined the front desk offer. I'm thinking a couple things about this:
1. The front desk person is in on it somehow, probably does the initial check on who's new and available. Might even get compensated for any names that pan out.
2. The courtesy patrol guy who dropped the LAPD label is in fact not a cop at all. That is just used to help ease you into his trust.
I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them.
When I toured the apartment the manager told me about their Courtesy Patrol; the LAPD officers who participate in the patrol get a discount on their rent.
I doubt the front desk person is "in" on any scheme. The room heating and the stove breakers were off as well as the water heater. Probably so the owners can save money while they try to get the place rented.
I think what happened is the guy at the front desk answering service (who's job is specializing in customer service) called the Courtesy Patrol because he felt that the problem was something simple.
I read my comment back and it sounded so paranoid! But it's such a perfect scheme that I'd expect to see in a suspense movie, you know? I'm glad you have them to keep watch, then.
:)
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