I really enjoy personality tests. I'm not sure why, but it seems that good personality tests act as a mirror, and the "compatibility" tests tend to act as a very interesting mirror. The whole idea that some database thinks one particular type of person is right for me, and why it thinks that way, is very interesting to me.
So today I filled out an eHarmony Personality test just to see what would come up (I'm not signed up for their matching service, and I'm not planning to anytime soon). I'm not sure how accurate it is, but the fellow they describe in the Compatibility report sounds interesting.
So here it is in part(it's OK if I pull something from a website if I source it, right?):
You are best described as:
TAKING CARE OF OTHERS AND TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF
Words that describe you:
- Fair
- Considered
- Collaborative
- Responsive
- Sensible
- Diplomatic
- Contemplative
- Indulgent
- Rational
You are important. So are other people, especially if they are in trouble. You have a tender heart, but you know how to establish and keep personal boundaries. You are empathetic and compassionate, but you also believe that it's best if people solve their own problems and learn to take care of themselves, if they are able.
You are deeply moved by the needs of others, but you know that if you don't take good care of yourself, you'll wind up being of no use to anyone. So yours is a thoughtful compassion. You strive to be fair and sensible, taking care of others while also taking care of yourself.
When someone really is in trouble, you like to collaborate with them toward a solution; they do their part, you do yours. You consider carefully, and respond in a sensible way; they do their part, and together you move through the difficulty.
You seldom act impulsively; rather, when a problem arises, you take your time to think through the situation. This contemplative quality usually means that you'll arrive at a diplomatic solution, one that's fair for the other person and also fair to you. It's frequently a win/win situation.
On the Openness Dimension you are:
VERY CURIOUS
Words that describe you:
- Imaginative
- Creative
- Intellectual
- Adventurous
- Unconventional
- Artistic
- Progressive
- Daring
- Inspired
You are a very creative and imaginative person who is especially open to new ideas or new ways of thinking about old problems. You love to approach a conventional idea or a traditional way of doing things by walking around to the other side and explore it from a novel perspective. What's new is what interests you. Like an artist looking for a new way to see, you focus your imagination on envisioning ideas, events or problems in completely original ways. You are intellectually progressive, which means you like to think and feel your way into unexplored landscapes where you let your sense of intellectual adventure romp freely.
Because you are so curious you can also be very teachable. You learn from personal and interpersonal experiences as well as from classrooms and textbooks. You crave new information, and toss and turn it in your vivid imagination. When you come across an idea from someone else or a thought in your own head that is particularly provocative or original, you light up. With wit and wisdom, Dr. Seuss describes you like this: "Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!"
On Emotional Stability you are:
RESPONSIVE
Words that describe you:
- Open
- Accessible
- Too Sensitive
- Reachable
- Candid
- Unguarded
You are an emotional person. In some ways, we are all emotional; we feel joy, anger, sadness and fear; some of us more powerfully than others - and you more powerfully than most. Your emotions are closer to the surface, and your feelings more obvious to you than is the case with most people. You've got your life in a good place, your dominant mood is upbeat, and unless life has been particularly trying for you, you greatly enjoy the richness and intensity of life that being so open with your emotions brings you.
Sure there are times when your feelings come very close to the surface, and life becomes more complicated. At these times you may grow self-conscious, or feel a bit anxious. But all in all, you much prefer being open with your emotions, breathing in all that life offers, than shutting down any part of your emotional experience. Granted, there may be times when these emotions are hard but you realize that is part of life. And more often than not you feel enriched by your emotions, by your ability to be open to all that life brings you. You know that even when you have those times that get you down, there will be even more times when you see life in ways that others just can't.
Your approach toward your obligations is:
FOCUSED AND FLEXIBLE
Words that describe you:
- Casual
- Informal
- Compliant
- Reliable
- Organized
- Solid
- Dependable
- Uncommitted
- Genuine
When you take on a task at work or at home, you are reliable; you get the job done. In an organized way, you define the goal, lay out a plan, figure how long the task will take, and get to work "solid and dependable you".
But and this is important you're not a slave to the plan. You're committed to it, but not chained to it; the connection is more casual and informal. You know that sometimes "the best laid plans" fall off the tracks; when this happens, you clean up the train wreck and start over, undeterred.
Though not happening often, when plans change, you're okay with it. In fact, sometimes you change the plan. It's too nice of a Saturday to finish organizing the garage. Let's go for a bike ride instead. True, the next rainy Saturday will likely find you back in the garage, but for now the work can wait.
What an interesting combination of qualities in you're organized, but casual; solid, but compliant; and dependable, but informal. At home and at work, people know they can rely on you. You take great satisfaction in knowing that people think of you as disciplined and responsible, but you also know that you have something of a free spirit in you, and when this spirit moves you, off you go, following the impulse of the moment. You are rightly proud of your work ethic, but you also enjoy your willingness to lay the tools down, crank up the music and play like a child.
When it comes to Extraversion you are:
SOMETIMES OUTGOING, SOMETIMES RESERVED
Words that describe you:
- Moderate
- Amiable
- Laid-back
- Temperate
- Relaxed
- Poised
- Civil
- Uncommitted
- Pleasant
Lucky you! You enjoy your own company as much as you enjoy the company of others. You are a great conversationalist and thrive in the wonderful kinds of connections you know how to have with your family and friends. You also equally enjoy your own company, whether sitting in a favorite chair with your book and soft music playing or meandering in the woods by yourself. You like coming home to your family or your roommate; but if no one is home, you find quiet, solitary time to be just as pleasurable. What a great combination to enjoy being outgoing and to be just as comfortable being reserved. Lucky you!!
Because you are so amiable and relaxed, you are comfortable with almost any group of family or friends. Whether they are pumped up and lively or calm and subdued, you remain at ease. If someone needs to take over the conversation, you are comfortable taking the lead; you can also lay back and let someone else be in charge. If the conversation gets rowdy, your moderate demeanor will often draw it down to a more temperate level. If someone in the group loses their cool, you will most likely maintain your poise, and if they get nasty you know how to keep a civil tongue.
You may find yourself out of balance on occasion. If you're alone too much, you may need to get in touch with someone. If you spend too much time with your family and friends, you may need to sneak off for a day by yourself, to putter and read and clear your head of the noise of too much conversation. When you're at your best, you live with a rhythm of time with others, time alone, time with others, time alone It's a satisfying, comfortable balance. Lucky you!
*Compatibility Profile Starts Here*
Some of your ideal mates strongest personality characteristics are:
He generally prefers to solve problems based on rational causes, rather than emotions.
He has a very strong intellect which he enjoys exercising.
He tends to energize his friends into action.
He tends to be very energetic.
Some important qualities that your ideal partner brings to the relationship are:
He is very happy with his life.
He is always appreciative of the good things life has to offer.
He is very good at communicating his thoughts and feelings.
It is easy for him to see other's points of view.
Important goals and values for your ideal mate in a relationship are:
Most of his friends and acquaintances consider him to be very attractive.
He shares your attitudes regarding sex.
Being emotionally expressive is an important part of his personality.
Being healthy and active are primary goals in his life.
Based on your profile, you are most compatible with men who fit the following descriptions:
Kindness: Your ideal mate goes out of his way to shower you with attention. He is likely to perform small acts of kindness others would not even consider, like jotting you a note of appreciation or bringing home your favorite take-out meal when you're tired. He won't take you for granted. He wants to be there for you when you have a problem or when you just want to talk. He is motivated by a strong belief in the importance of treating people with kindness and consideration.
Communication: You will have the best relationship with a man who places a high value on both talking and listening. He also enjoys speaking his mind, but knows that understanding someone else's point of view is vital to healthy communication. He's accepting of what people tell him and rarely argues, even when he disagrees with their opinions. Friends and family appreciate his good listening skills and expressive, open nature.
Romantic Passion: Your ideal mate is a sensual and passionate man who invests 100 percent in the romantic aspects of a relationship. He places a high value on romantic gestures, such as love notes or flowers, and enjoys the reaction they elicit. He's the kind of man who enjoys connecting emotionally, and will take the extra steps to create real romance in a relationship, like planning romantic weekend getaways, finding special restaurants to share and making you feel truly special.
Adaptability: Your ideal mate is someone who really enjoys thinking outside the box when faced with a problem. He tries to approach challenges with an open mind so that he's not tied to conventional solutions. You are likely to find it difficult in the long run if you are with someone who is unable to think in new and creative ways in order to solve a problem or resolve an argument. Friends and family of your best match are likely to describe him as the kind of person who remains calm in a crisis and bounces back easily when setbacks arise.
Curiosity: You will be well matched with a man who is eager to learn. He's the kind of person who's able to discuss the latest headlines and world events. He is constantly expanding his knowledge and understanding of the world. Each avenue of knowledge leads him to another inquiry; for example, a visit to a historic landmark might spur him to do additional research. He's the kind of person who enjoys intellectual stimulation even when he's relaxing. He appreciates your desire to understand the world around you.
Intellect: Your ideal mate is smart, educated and knowledgeable. He is astute and will appreciate your understanding of a wide variety of topics. He has varied interests in subjects such as literature or languages. Other people see him as someone who's looking for friends who are his equal in terms of intelligence or knowledge. He places a high priority on reflection and intellectual pursuits.
Artistic Passion: You are best suited to the kind of man who is able to appreciate art and creativity. He appreciates things like museums and art galleries, but probably just doesn't get to them very often. He enjoys things like literature and fine art, but generally has other priorities when it comes to entertainment. Other people see him as someone who would visit some of the world's top museums during a trip abroad but who might neglect the ones in his own home town.
Sexual Passion: Your ideal companion is someone who needs to have an intense physical chemistry with his partner. He's the kind of person who wants to feel a surge of excitement, like an adrenaline rush, whenever his partner enters the room. You are most compatible with a man who thinks that intimate physical contact, like a romantic kiss, should be an exchange of sensual energy that leaves one breathless.
Appearance: You will be well matched with a man who appreciates the time and effort you put into how you look. He thinks it is important to put effort into looking one's best, such as wearing nice clothes or staying in shape. He is able to understand the care you take with things like your clothing, hair or makeup and will always let you know that he appreciates the end results. He is probably someone who knows the value of a first impression, and will work to ensure that his is flawless.
Physical Energy: You are most compatible with someone who may have a hard time sitting still. He's the kind of person who's energetic and active, whether he's heading out for a jog, a long walk or a mountain biking trek. He generally feels best at the end of a day if he's gotten some kind of exercise. Friends might describe him as a "fitness nut" who thrives on pushing himself to the limit physically.
Education: Your ideal mate is a man who wants his partner to be a person who is able to connect with him intellectually. He's the kind of person who discusses the issues of the day, like politics, religion, science or the arts. If he and his partner aren't intellectually compatible, he might feel like there's something missing from the relationship. He values learning and is accomplished academically.
Ambition: Your ideal mate is the kind of person who strives to be the best at what he does. He pays attention to his progress and compares himself to others, sometimes judging according to the size of his house or the salary he earns. He understands your desire to be recognized for your accomplishments. Like you, however, he won't turn his quest for success into something that will dominate his life. Things like family, friends and time to himself are important to him.
Emotional Status: You are best suited to a man who is stable and calm. He doesn't overreact when he faces challenges like financial setbacks or professional hurdles. He tends to maintain an even emotional keel. He rarely feels anxious, depressed or angry and always avoids taking his personal frustrations out on others. His friends probably describe him as the kind of person who can handle anything and never seems out of control or unable to cope. Like you, he is satisfied with his life, but is ready to find someone to share and grow with.
Self-Concept: Your ideal match is someone who won't change himself just to fit in. Like you, he is resilient and self-confident. He's comfortable with who he is and doesn't feel the need to follow the crowd or be a slave to current fads. He believes in himself and doesn't look to others for approval. Other people see him as self-assured, caring and well adjusted.
Family Background: Your ideal mate has a good relationship with his family, but it's not perfect. They enjoy talking or spending time together but do have occasional conflict, and there could be certain disagreements that have never been resolved. Generally speaking, his expectations about having a family of his own aren't overly idealistic. He's understands that family dynamics can work even when they're not perfect.
Traditionalism: You'll be happiest with a man who considers himself a good person: He has strong values and his moral beliefs are an important part of who he is. He might think people don't need to be sticklers when it comes to their personal beliefs, but he probably believes that values related to religion, country and family provide important general guidelines for life.
Some additional details about your ideal mate:
Character: Your ideal mate is a man who genuinely tries to care for others. His friends see him as someone who knows he's not perfect, but who makes a sincere effort for the important people in his life. He can show great kindness for others on occasion, but is by no means a saint. He will appreciate your compassionate side, but will also understand and empathize with your feeling that there are times when your personal needs and in life may overshadow concern for other people.
Autonomy: You will be best matched with someone who is interested to know all the important things about your past, but is equally if not more interested in experiencing the present and building a future together. You are most compatible with someone who believes that communication is vital in creating a healthy relationship, but you may have problems with someone who feels a burning need to know every last detail about your past or every thought that crosses your mind. When in a relationship: Your ideal partner sees himself as part of a couple, but still maintains his independence and identity.
Vitality and Security: You need a man who is honest and reliable. He has a good understanding of what it takes to make a relationship work over the long haul. He wants to build a relationship that will last, but doesn't need you for constant support. He shares your desire for stability and longevity. Friends describe him as the kind of person who wants to make his partner feel cared for and safe.
Conflict Resolution: You'll be happiest with someone who rarely gets into arguments. Others say he's the kind of person who has no enemies because he's a natural diplomat, brokering peace among those around him. When misunderstandings do arise, he is more concerned about resolving a conflict well than winning the fight. When he's wrong, he's quick to apologize; when he's right, he's quick to forgive and forget.
Emotional Energy: You'll be happiest in the long run with someone who is outgoing and vivacious. While not necessarily a whirlwind of constant activity, he's definitely not willing to sit by and watch life go by. He prefers doing to watching; he's more likely to want to organize a hike or hit the basketball court for a pickup game than enjoy spending hours watching TV or sitting around the house. He's at his best when he's on-the-go, and rarely needs time to recharge.
Dominance: You are best suited to someone who doesn't take competition to extremes. He likes to win but doesn't need to do so at all costs. He is competitive and aggressive when the situation warrants it, such as when vying for a promotion at work or playing football with friends - but generally accepts a loss with grace. He shares your belief that not everything's a contest, even though it's sometimes fun to pit yourself against others or push yourself to perform.
Sociability: You'll be happiest with a man who likes to spend time with old friends and make new ones. Like you, he might not always be the first to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but he is rarely tongue-tied once a conversation is underway. On some days, he might start a conversation with a complete stranger because he feels chatty. Other days, he would rather be alone or just talk to people he knows well already. At parties, he's the type of person who isn't afraid to venture outside his immediate group of friends and meet new people.
Humor: Your ideal mate is the kind of man who sometimes likes to entertain people. He occasionally enjoys telling jokes, making people laugh with things like wordplay, one-liners or satirical observations about friends and family. However, he doesn't feel the need to be a constant one-man show. His friends and family see him as someone who is funny and interesting but who knows when to take things seriously.
Industry: You are most compatible with someone who works hard at the office or jobsite, but avoids bringing too much stress and worry home. He likes to stay busy, but doesn't feel the need to fill every moment of every day with some task or chore. He's generally efficient, persistent and productive, but doesn't obsess over making lists of things to do or accomplish. He will appreciate your work ethic and your ability to enjoy the relaxation of downtime as well.
Organization: You will be best matched with a person who shares your ability to organize and plan for the future when necessary, but who can also appreciate the times when "less is more" in terms of planning and organization. He has a good ability to plan for the future, but he also has a spontaneous side which allows him to enjoy the occasional splurging on a fancy dinner or weekend getaway.
Obstreperousness: Your ideal mate is someone who isn't afraid to stand up for his opinions, but doesn't always feel the need to do so. You need someone who has beliefs and confidence strong enough to match your own. However, you will not do well with someone who needs to dominate every conversation and win every argument. You will do best with someone who knows when to speak his mind, and when to just go along with the people around him. You can tolerate a few rough edges when it comes to your ideal mate's level of Obstreperousness, because you've got some yourself.
Anger Management: You will be happiest with a man who works to control his temper when he is upset. He generally has a long fuse, so he doesn't get mad very often. When he does, he isn't likely to take it out on someone else. Friends and family describe him as the kind of person who doesn't always blame the people around him when things go wrong.
Mood Management: You are most compatible with someone who avoids taking bad moods out on others. You can appreciate that everyone has their bad days, and you need someone who can appreciate that you have yours as well. However, your ideal mate is in tune with his moods and takes effective steps to both regulate them and shield others from their negative effects. Others describe him as the kind of person who is good at cheering someone up when they're having a bad day.
Spirituality: Your ideal mate is someone who is spiritual but does not necessarily adhere to any particular system of beliefs. His faith affects his life, and he is probably looking for a woman who shares his beliefs. He's the kind of person who probably finds meaning in things like meditation, prayer or reading scripture, and believes these activities help make him a better person.
Family goals: Your ideal mate is someone who loves children and wants them to play a significant role in his life. He thinks family is important and is willing to commit his life to having children of his own. Friends say he is the kind of person who's comfortable around kids, who would get down on the floor to play with them when visiting someone's home. For this reason, children are probably drawn to him, too.
Altruism: Your ideal mate is the kind of person who cares about helping strangers but who might not spend a lot of his time doing so. He is someone who generally takes care of his friends when they're in need and who might feel a pang of guilt when he doesn't reach out to assist strangers. Others see him as someone who, with a little encouragement, will join efforts to help, whether it's a canned food drive or a charity fundraiser.
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