The One Before The One

I'm officially "the one before 'the one'" for someone. Probably more than one someone. (Don is one, too, so it must be a common thing!)

I just got internet at my apartment, so I can browse MySpace again and catch up on the soap opera of our lives. (Isn't that embarrassing, to admit I have a MySpace?)

A guy I dated a few years ago - Fall of 2004 - started dating a girl after he let me go and I guess now they're getting married and having a baby. While I am irritated that he's getting married before I am (because I'd like to think that marriage requires good communication skills and trust, neither of which he had with me), I'm glad that I'm not her and I'm happy that he appears to be happy. I'm also glad that I'm single, with no signs of a wedding in my future.

This guy was actually the fellow who e-mailed me last year (my response here). My life is better now than it was then, for my sake I'll reiterate:

I live in a spacious, quiet, one-bedroom apartment. I have a tree outside my window that hides my balcony and lets me pretend I have my own little piece of isolation.
I have my degree, and am getting more education as we speak. I think I'm going to start on my Master's next year.
My career has launched! And I'm enjoying that immensely.
I have some great friends who love and appreciate me, who are also patient and accepting of my flaws.
I have a healthier relationship with a different man, someone I believe can be my equal in many things (and my better in others).

My life could be a lot worse, and I'm glad he's not in my life anymore. Another ancient flame I looked up on is also in a serious relationship that will probably end up as a marriage. He looks happy with her, and I think, as a couple, they match well visually. I remember the aftermath of that relationship pretty well (it wasn't pretty), but I can't remember anything that I liked about the guy. It was my longest relationship, too - a little over two years. You would think there would be something nice I could remember about him. I know he now hates me and hopes, as one six-month-old e-mail said, that my life is a "hellhole" (he broke Hotmail's abuse policy when he e-mailed me an unprovoked profane and vile message and I reported him on it; Hotmail deleted his account). I know he blames me for what went wrong with the relationship, and I know that communication problems were a big part of what was wrong with it. I'm glad that he looks happy. I'm also very glad I'm not his new flame, and I'm glad that she looks happy with him.

What is my point? My point is that I'm glad those relationships didn't work out, as painful as it was for me when they ended. I'm glad the Fates have woven the threads of our lives away from each other and that they've woven the thread of my life into the thread of the fellow I'm seeing now. I'm also glad that my overall happiness with life has been going in an upward trend for the past almost-24 years (with the occasional crash or two).