I thought teen angst was supposed to die after you reached your 20s. Apparently I was wrong.
I found out today that my mom is more neurotic than I thought. Or does everyone have a neurotic mom?
I found out today that my parents would rather I spend New Year's completely alone than out being a normal girl in her mid-20's and socializing with friends. I feel like they don't trust me, that they feel like they completely fucked-up raising me in that apparently they've somehow given me a bad sense of judgment. Maybe they did, and that's why I don't have a lot of friends and that I keep picking bad men to get involved with.
What the hell did I do to them? I went to college, I have a good job that they like to brag about, I don't do drugs, I don't get into trouble. I'd like to think I'm a nice person, that I'm a positive contribution to society. What more do they want?
Why can't they trust me to go out and have a fun, safe time on New Year's?
What bothers me even more is that despite my best efforts, I don't have anywhere to go and no one to go with tonight. I turned down an invite with a girlfriend because I didn't want to freeze my butt off in Pasadena to wake up at God knows what hour to watch the Rose Parade live.
I'm almost tempted to be really immature and start making stuff up to scare them. Maybe I'll just not be as open with them anymore. I don't want to do that because I feel that open relationships are better, but it's like I tell them everything that's going on and they don't trust me anyway.
It's really not so bad that I'm spending New Year's alone, but it really hurts that I wanted to have a light-hearted, fun New Year's and my parents didn't want me to have that also because they're too busy being paranoid that something awful is going to happen to me when I'm with my friends, who are all for the most apart also educated nice people who contribute positively to society.
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4 comments:
Now, now... I think your parents did a very nice job. :)
:)
Thanks Don! You are definitely the voice of reason in this case!
I totally understand ever word of irrepressable agnst in this posting. You know how my father is.....it's ridiculous. And you know how I am....not quite so different from your self in the qualities you mentioned that should envoke pride and trusting from our parents; instead we are only told, that we're supposed to be good anyway.
Don't ever spend a New Years alone again....if need be call me up and come hang out with me, it would be my pleasure....champagne is not as much fun alone :)
Hi Theresa!
I don't think I'll be spending many New Year's alone anymore, but thank you for the standing invite! I don't think I had anything to drink that night either, which is the really funny thing. . . .but I do remember getting lots of drunk-dials and drunk-texts that night!
Your father is fairly demanding. . .more so than my own parents. I hope you will find some 'breathing room' and freedom soon!
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