Dream Forging

What's in a dream?

In my childhood, the dream was to go to college and graduate. Unfortunately I didn't realize until quite late in my college career that I needed to forge a new dream. One of the new dreams I tried to forge - a military career - faltered.
While I'm not quite faltering now - I do have a good job with an excellent company - I feel like I'm wandering in fog. I'm not quite sure what I want to do with my career. The "big picture" goal seems to be: "Make enough money to live comfortably and afford trips to places I've never been before". That seems lacking.
My new sweetheart mentioned that a "five-year plan" is much more effective in setting-and-reaching goals. How Mao!

The current 5-year-plan seems to be, "Earn a Master's Degree". Unfortunately, I'm not sure I know what I want to study. I've thought about USC's M.S. in C.S., specializing in Computer Security (because I want to take their cryptology class), but I wonder if that's "too challenging" to take on with a full-time job and hobbies to boot. I'd like to retain some of my sanity. The other option I was thinking about was earning my M.B.A., but I'm not sure if I want to become a manager.

I have financial and personal life goals in my 5-year-plan too, but I think I have the game plan for those worked out, although my financial goals aren't making as much progress as quickly as I'd like.

Life definitely does its best to crush idealism in full bloom, does it not? It would be so much easier to save money if so much didn't get allocated to essential things, like rent and bills.

When I moved to L.A. one of the "hot" things to wear was the kimono dress, and Geren Ford makes an excellent silk one that was popular with the fashionistas. Unfortunately list price for one is $300+, depending on where you shop. My thinking was, if I can do well enough for myself that I can afford that dress, I will be doing fantastic. Owning that dress would be a symbol of my success in L.A., and my new-found life. The other day I found a black one for $150, on Maneater Threads. I bought it because it was on sale and because I could afford to. (It arrives in the mail today, so I'm not sure how smokin' I would look in it) Are my financial goals hurting because of it? Most probably.

I'm not hurting for money. Lots of people live on less than I do (and in the town I live in), and do just fine. But to make my financial goals I need to learn how to spend less money. I'd like to be able to start investing in the stock market. I'd like to be able to buy a new, fuel-efficient, reliable car with "sexy factor" (the Toyota Solara is a close match). I'd like to be able to own property someday. Maybe (most probably) not a mansion on a hill, but at least a quaint townhome in a safe neighborhood, with a place to park my car off the street.

I think most of my financial frustrations come from me expecting too much of myself. But I also think that's because I'm copping out and I should really say, "I spend too much on pretty things and need to learn to spend less."