The Thing About Underwear

Not all Victoria's Secret stores are made equal. In fact, depending on the time of the year you visit one of these stores, not all Victoria's Secret shopping experiences are made equal.

During the semi-annual sale, avoid Victoria's Secret at all costs. Otherwise you risk seeing women scrounging through bins marked from "32A" to "38D" in a manner reminiscent of hungry heifers. Not a pretty sight. Also, I don't know about you, but I would not like to guess how many other women touched the bra I just purchased.

No matter how long it's been since you've had a fitting, a saleswomen would more than likely want to see if you're wearing the correct size. This helps you to both justify the size you currently wear as well as to allow the saleswoman to hook you into spending your life savings on a lingerie wardrobe. Sidenote: Personally, I have yet to meet a rude Victoria's Secret saleswoman, and I think they must secretly clone or brainwash these ladies into the perfect weapon to peddle the pretty-nothings.

If your boyfriend is brave enough to venture into the hot-pink Estrogen Bubble with you, it's OK if he doesn't have anything to say when you leave, and it's totally awesome if he offers to hold the metallic hot-pink shopping bag for you. This, my readers, is what is called "Love". (It's called "Love plus plus" if that shopping bag is the extra huge one. We've all seen it; it's the one the size of a large dog.)

If you shop their store online, the selection is not as good as the selection in the physical store. The exception is if you're buying something plain Jane for "every day". Then, the plain articles from their Very Sexy, Body by Victoria, Angel, and Signature Cotton lines are fine.

In shopping online or from the mail-order catalog, you run the risk of getting bombarded by pink catalogs every two weeks for the next three years, as well as receiving extra Christmas and Valentine's Day catalogs.

The clothes that Victoria's Secret makes for sleeping are unparalleled. I highly recommend anything from their signature line. A close second is the flannel stuff they make for winter. Very warm and comfy.

IPEX may be patent-pending, but it sure does work.